


One Line

by erisgregory



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Future Fic, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-10-20 07:19:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erisgregory/pseuds/erisgregory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine never got together in high school.  Kurt chose to be with Sam when Blaine didn't come around.  Years later, in college in New York City, their friendship is full of strife and longing.  There is a line between them that they play along but never cross.</p>
<p>Title inspired by the song, One Line by P.J. Harvey</p>
<p>Co-authored by the amazing <a href="http://hydrogenlining.tumblr.com/">sohighlittlebird</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Carry You Home

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 Songs: Coming Home by Diddy and Carry You Home by Nashville Skyline  
> 

Blaine sat own heavily on the end of his mattress on the floor. He was a month behind on rent, and he didn’t have the money to catch up. Blaine had no idea what his next step would be but for now he needed his best friend. He dialed Kurt’s number and waited.  
Kurt was dusting, deciding to spend his afternoon off cleaning his apartment in preparation for his breakfast with Rachel tomorrow. He had neglected house chores for awhile, busily caught up in volunteer work and school and shows. He dropped the duster as he felt his phone ring. He smiled as he saw Blaine’s number. “Baby boy, what’s up?” He said, happy to finally talking to his best friend again.  
Blaine felt relief as Kurt answered the phone. He knew he could count on his friend to just listen, he always had. “I’m in trouble.” Blaine began. He hated putting it like that bit what else was there to say? “I’m being evicted.” Blaine gave a short laugh at the irony of the situation. He’d come to New York to be a star, not to starve and wind up homeless. At least he had enough money for a youth hostel at least for a few days.

Kurt hummed, his tone sounding sad, feeling awful for Blaine. “Ok.” he said finally, laying back onto his couch, “Before we strategize, may I please sing Rent?” He teased, trying to lighten up the situation. “Yeah, or not.” he said finally, “Hmmm.” he said again. “Blaine,” he said suddenly, “Come live with me!” He hopped off the couch, pacing in excitement. Why had he not invited him to live with him earlier? He knew Blaine was trying to make in New York on his own. Blaine was his best friend. He should have been rooming with him since day one.  
Blaine laughed despite his turmoil at Kurt’s mention of Rent. It was so true; sad and true in so many ways. But when Kurt invited him to come over and live with him, Blaine wasn’t sure what to think. He didn’t like the idea of using his friendship like that plus there was Sam to think about. Well, Kurt could think about Sam, he supposed, still there were lots of considerations. Their schedules, space. Who was Blaine kidding, he needed a place, his best friend had a place. This didn’t have to be so difficult. “Are you sure?” He had to ask.  
Kurt could hear the hesitation as Blaine was silent. He tapped his foot on the carpet, inpatient. It was so like Blaine to over think everything, to look ahead to the future, to analyze every little thing before making a decision. Sure, Kurt was pretty analytical and liked to think of the worse case scenarios, but he always ended up following his heart. It got him in a lot of trouble, but his dad once told him if he didn’t, he’d be lying to everyone, including himself. Kurt let out a silent sigh as Blaine finally answered. “Blaine,” he said, frowning at the question. “You’re my best friend. Of course I’m sure.” He said his voice firm and decided. He knew when he took that tone, Blaine couldn’t say no.

Blaine decided to go for it, Kurt was fine, he was fine, they would have an amazing time, if Blaine knew anything it was that. He would worry about the consequences and implications later. “Thank you, Kurt. You’re the best friend a guy could have.” And Blaine meant that from the bottom of his heart. Kurt had remained his friend through all of this mess; Kurt was his one steady place in the storm around him. “How does right away sound?” He asked, grinning. He was homeless now, might as well get on with the move.

Kurt clapped excitedly, happy that his cell phone was balanced between his shoulder and chin so that the clapping didn’t cause him to drop the phone. “You better get over here now, Anderson,” he smirked, trying to sound threatening. His phone beeped from a text from Sam, but he promised to check it later. “We’ll have to talk sleeping arrangements later.” He said, as he paced the small apartment. He had a one room, but he also had a small side room that he had turned into a studio for his fashion designs, sewing machine, and paper work for the LGBT shelter, but he’d have to clean it out, Blaine could sleep there. “I’ll see you soon, ok? I’ll start dinner now,” he added, smiling as he thought about cooking for Blaine. It’d be just like old times.

Blaine worked on stuffing all of his clothes and books into the few bags he had. He followed that with his laptop and cell phone and bath products and then he looked around his little one room flat and sighed heavily. There was a mattress, a chair, a tale and a lamp, and none of them seemed worth salvaging. This was all he had come up with in a year’s time because school was expensive and he had no time to take on more work. Blaine took his two bags and one suitcase and went to hail a cab. Twenty five minutes later he was on the lift up to Kurt's place and he wondered if Kurt had taken time to tell Sam what he’d decided. He knocked once on the door and then went on in to the apartment.  
Kurt was in the kitchen blasting Lady Gaga full volume and dancing around as he cooked for Blaine. He had remembered the time they went out to eat at a little Indian place and how much Blaine loved the curry. He wanted to give it a try and make it on his own. Thankfully, he had all the ingredients and was just about ready to go when Blaine walked in. “Hey you!” He yelled over Lady Gaga’s Poker Face, “Just throw the bags in my room, you can sleep there until I clean out the studio,” he said, before turning off the music and going to properly greet Blaine. “Hey,” he said softer this time as he hugged him. “You doing okay?”

Blaine dropped his bags in Kurt’s room and then came back just as Kurt was turning the music off. He hugged Kurt and put on his best smile. Kurt wouldn’t buy it but that was just the way they were together. Blaine never admitted to anything these days. It would be too terrible. “I’m great.” He said with a shrug, but he held on to Kurt just a little longer than normal, needing to feel his friend’s strength. He was feeling a lot better now that he wasn’t alone, now that he was with Kurt. “Something smells amazing.” he added looking around Kurt and into the little kitchen.

Kurt let out a sigh as Blaine held him. He didn’t want the other to let go, and that thought confused him. You have a boyfriend, he reminded himself. He crossed his arms when Blaine pulled away, keeping an eye on him. Something was wrong and Kurt knew it. He smiled a thanked as Blaine complimented his food. “Come here,” he instructed, offering Blaine some curry, looking at the other worriedly.  
Blaine bent forward to take a bite of the curry and grinned as he chewed. It was fantastic; the perfect balance of sweet coconut and spicy curry. “That’s great.” Blaine raised his eyebrows and mumbled around his bite, and then he swallowed. “Thanks for this Kurt, seriously. I can help with rent, it won’t be much but I’ll help out, and cook and stuff.” Blaine’s offer to cook was maybe not the best idea, but he hoped Kurt would appreciate the meaning behind it.

Kurt shook his head quickly as he turned back to the counter. He dug around for two plates and plated up some curry and vegetables for him and Blaine and placed them on the small table in the kitchen. “What do you want to drink, B?” He asked, still ignoring Blaine’s statement . Once Blaine answered with his drink choice, he brought it over and took a seat. After taking a few bites in silence, he looked up. Why was his heart fluttering? “You don’t need to help with rent,” he said finally, his voice stubborn. “I..I’m more than happy to have you here.” He said, before leaning forward near Blaine, about to say more, but his cell phone rang and he sighed, “Hold on, it’s Sam.

Blaine just watched all of Kurt’s movements quietly noting that he didn’t say anything in response. Secretly lane had always liked to watch Kurt move because he was so graceful; his hands were always doing something beautiful even during mundane tasks like serving dinner. “Wine?” Blaine asked and Kurt came and sat with him at the little table. Then Kurt started explaining to him why he didn’t need to help out when his phone rang and he answered it o talk to Sam. Blaine sat and ate in silence while Kurt chatted on the phone. Maybe they could go out later, he mused; somewhere where the phone wouldn’t be heard. No, he told himself that was never going to work, he had to be gracious and shit. No competing for Kurt’s time with Sam.

Kurt felt his temper rise at Sam. He loved the boy without a doubt, but he was terrible at planning, terrible at following through, and terrible at not procrastinating. He sighed, finally hanging up. “I’m sorry about that B.” he said, feeling awful. In fact, something inside him much rather he spend the night with Blaine. Stop it, Kurt! He took a seat, returning to his curry. “So, Blainey,” he said, giving a whiny voice, “tell me, tell me all. How are you?” He said, looking over at the boy sympathetically. What he really wanted to do was hug him again, maybe more…Stop! He bit the inside of his check to keep his thoughts in check.

Blaine shrugged when Kurt apologized. It was no big, really, except they had just sat down. Blaine smiled his most gracious smile at Kurt as he sat back down. “I’m alright K. really, just can’t seem to keep enough money to stay ahead. If it were just a matter of working I could do that, but I have to have to time for school too…” Blaine looked away and took a sip of his wine. He didn’t like being poor. He hated that Kurt had to take him in on the one hand and on the other he was glad it was Kurt, Kurt who understood the situation and knew what Blaine had gone through to get to New York. “I have enough money for school, enough for food, enough for cabs, I just never have enough for rent.” He shrugged nonchalantly again as though he wasn’t overly bothered.

Kurt chewed the inside of his check nervously, what were these things he was feeling an why? He should be worrying over Sam who was yet again not done with a paper he had due in less than seven hours. He should be rushing over there and offering him help, but all he wanted to do was cuddle, and bug Blaine until he was honest. He picked at his food, mindlessly, but not taking any bites of the now cold curry. “Blaine…” he said softly, reaching across the table to take his hand. “I love you,” he said, pausing after those words to let them have their own effect, “but you’re a terrible liar.” He smirked, massaging the back of Blaine’s hand. “Now, I demand you tell me what really is wrong. You can either do it sober, or we’ll have to finish this damn bottle of red wine until you tell me.”

Blaine could tell he wasn’t impressing Kurt with his bravado, but he didn’t care. It was all he had really. He was brought so low in the past few months that he had surprised himself on more than one occasion. He felt more than a little warm though when Kurt reached across the table and took hi hand. It was a casual thing between them. They touched, and kissed, and hugged without it ever going any further, but that didn’t mean that Blaine never felt anything. He always had, but the time was just never right for either of them. They were comfortable in their relationship and it meant everything to Blaine. It also meant the world to Blaine that Kurt never took crap from him. Kurt was the only one who could call BS on Blaine. “It sucks.” Blaine said simply. “So pour the wine."

Kurt smiled warmly down at their joined hands; he tried to ignore the small heart flutter that he always endured when he and Blaine made contact. But he intertwined it to just what their relationship was. He knew deep down that that was a lie, but he refused to let that thought surface, feeling his phone vibrate with a text from Sam. He sighed, and pulled the phone out, checking it, than rolling his eyes, and turning off the phone, putting it out of reach. “Wine it is then,” he said, gently squeezing Blaine’s hand, before pulling away. He cleared their now finished plates and returned with a half empty bottle and another full one. He popped the cork and poured, handing a glass to Blaine. He took a long swig, washing away his recent stress. “Ok baby boy,” he said, looking intently at Blaine. “Tell me what’s really going on.”

Blaine got up and moved to the couch and waited for Kurt to join him. This being his second glass of wine he was just mildly relaxed. He may as well get this out there or Kurt was going to bug him for the story day after day, eventually he would have to give in. He always gave in to Kurt. “I’m breaking under all this pressure. It’s not all going according to the grand plan I had when I got here.” He took another sip of his wine and leaned toward Kurt just a little. “You’re the only decent thing left in my life, Kurt. Everything else is trash. The men I see, the jobs I have, that apartment I just lost. Everything. I hate it.” Blaine down his drink in one final gulp and looked away.

Kurt frowned and put down his glass of wine. “Oh Blaine….” he whispered, leaning forward, climbing closer to Blaine. He pulled on the other, bringing him into a hug. “It’s okay…” he said, rubbing his back. “Let me help you out with the jobs, okay? And don’t even worry about the apartment. This is your home now.” He offered, strategizing how to fix the saddened Blaine in front of him. He hated seeing Blaine upset. It was the one thing that would always end up breaking his heart. He nervously leaned forward, gently kissing his check. He stayed a second longer than he should have, before pulling away, blushing. “I um…I promise, it’ll be okay.” He whispered.

In that moment, like so many other little moments before, Blaine wanted nothing more than to pull Kurt tight and just keep him there. Make him see what Blaine had always felt and had always known. There were always several things that prevented him. The first was simply that his friendship with Kurt was the only serious relationship he had ever been able to maintain; he wasn’t about to risk doing to Kurt what he did to others. Kurt would leave him for good. The other was that the timing was never right. Kurt had been with Sam for years. You couldn’t just walk in and try and take that away. It was no good. So they had this sort of understating between them. If one needed the comfort they could take it and it never went too far. A thousand kisses had never changed things and tonight was no different. Blaine reached forward to take the back of Kurt’s neck as he was pulling away and pulled him back in for a real kiss.

Kurt blinked a bit in surprise as Blaine took his neck and kissed him again. He slowly softened into the kiss; it shouldn’t have shocked him. They did this often, no matter if they were single or not, it was just something they did. They had a mutual relationship, with unspoken rules, unspoken boundaries. Yes, they could kiss, yes they could go get coffee, or have sleepovers, or such, but no, no they were not together. Kurt pulled away slowly, his eyes fluttering open groggily. His head was racing, his hands clammy. He took Blaine’s hands to try and steady his nerves. What was happening? So many things cycled though Kurt’s head. Sam. Sam. Blaine. What was he doing? Blaine…Blaine. “Blaine,” the last thought was spoken out loud. “I…I…” he stammered.

Blaine was selfish in a lot of ways, and he accepted that about himself. This was probably a little unfair though, even for him. He kissed Kurt deeply, taking the warmth that he needed and the feeling of closeness only Kurt could provide. He wrapped his arms around him just as he had wanted to and then the kiss was ending. Kurt was pulling slowly away and Blaine was letting him go. They had reached that line, the one they couldn’t cross, and Blaine sighed softly as they parted. Clearly Blaine was intoxicated or just buzzed even. He could admit to himself that he liked to push that line but doing so tonight was just wrong. “Shh.” He patted Kurt’s leg and tried to soothe him. “I just needed that.” He lifted one corner of his mouth in a half smile. “I guess I wanted to feel close to you.”

Kurt stood up, and backed away from the couch. “Blaine….” he said, as his back finally hit the far wall. His eyes stayed locked on Blaine’s and he could heart beating in his throat. He saw his phone in the far corner and immediately felt guilty, thinking of Sam. He should be over at his dorm; he should be helping him with his paper. He shouldn’t have kissed Blaine, more so, he shouldn’t have liked it. All of this, on top of the way Blaine was acting, sent his heart racing, on and edge of being seduced by the situation and being terrified. His hands by his side, he dug his nails into the side of his legs nerves racing. “I…is…is that all you wanted from me?” He asked, trying not to sound hurt.

Blaine was confused when Kurt stood and backed away. He found himself standing as well before Kurt even reached the far wall. Kurt’s eyes were wide and deeply blue. “Kurt..?” It was a question as much as anything else because he suddenly felt off kilter. Kurt was never afraid of him, never afraid of what they shared. Why would it be any different now? Of course it was different, Blaine knew it was because he wasn’t about to go home, and Kurt wasn’t about to either, they were here together. More than that though, and this was the part that Blaine felt the most guilt over, Blaine was incredibly needy. He always was, there was never any kindness or tenderness in any of his relationships, except with Kurt. Kurt was his home and his strength and he was the only man Blaine would love. Tonight more than ever Blaine needed that. He knew he shouldn’t do this, but he felt he had to make it right, make Kurt see they were alright, so he followed Kurt most of the way across the room, but he was shocked when Kurt spoke again. “It isn’t like that. He said softly. It’s you I need. The kiss is just all I can have of you, so I took it and it was unfair.” He wasn’t sure if those were the right words, he wanted to say he needed Kurt and always had, it wasn’t a physical thing, it wasn’t bodily contact he craved it was Kurt and his spirit that he needed now.

Kurt bit his lip, avoiding Blaine’s glance, the rushing in his body was not helping him try to focus on what Blaine was saying. If he had looked up, he would have seen the softness in Blaine’s eyes, and that softness alone would have made him melt; made him end up telling Blaine how much he needed him, how he was head over heels in love with him and only him. He inhaled sharply, and looked up, trying to force the budding tears behind his eyes not to fall. The thoughts going through his head were thumping loudly through his brain. He knew the kiss shouldn’t have meant anything, but it had, and that terrified Kurt. Not only could he not ruin his relationship with Sam, but he couldn’t ruin his friendship with Blaine. He was the most important person to him ever. He tried to rebuild his wall, brick by brick, letting out a sigh, and forcing a soft smile to sooth Blaine. But the moment Blaine said that Kurt was who he needed, the brick crumbled. “I…I want to be needed by you..” he whispered, looking away and nervously fiddling with the fabric of his t-shirt.

There was something in Kurt’s manner that was so appealing, which Blaine chalked up to the wine. The way he fiddled with his shirt, the way he looked everywhere but right at Blaine, the way his lip trembled, my god, the words coming out of that mouth. Too easy, it would be so easy to walk over and just take it, take everything he needed. Kurt was offering wasn’t he. Blaine was another step closer. Then he was closing the distance between them. He was cupping Kurt’s cheek and forcing him to look into Blaine’s eyes. “You are needed by me, every day.” He whispered. Then, just as quickly he dropped back, all the way back to the couch and sat down. His eyes sought Kurt’s and he realized something very crucial. If he was going to stay there had to be boundaries and that was not something h was prepared for. “I think we should go out, K. What do you think?” He whispered this a little gruffly. They needed a change in scenery and fast before one of them pressed this all too far.


	2. Heavy in Your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine and Kurt decide to get out of the house in order to get some space. The line is being blurred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 Songs: Goodbye by Ke$ha and Heavy in Your Arms by Florence and the Machine

Kurt closed his eyes, leaning into the touch easily, prepared to give into Blaine’s touch easily. But the second Blaine pulled away, the trance he had felt like he was in was gone. Kurt’s empty check fell, his head hanging, his eyes meeting the floor once more. He heard Blaine’s words, saying they needed to get out of the house, and he agreed, he knew they needed to cool off a bit, not be the only two people near each other. There was too much tension, and it was causing Kurt stress. He looked up finally and nodded. “Yeah, yeah I think we should. Just…just give me a few minutes? And then we can go wherever you want,” he said, trying to give Blaine a supportive smile, remembering how alone he must have felt. As hard as this was on Kurt, Blaine was the one that needed this, he needed warmth, and Kurt would provide it. “I’ll…I’ll be back..” he whispered, turning on his heel, and heading to his bedroom. He took a seat on the corner of his bed, and hung his head, resting it in his hands. He tried to focus on his breathing, not Blaine’s luggage now in his room or the ringing phone that was now on again and in the other room.

Blaine nodded to Kurt, unable to open his mouth anymore and say admirable things. Just thinking of Kurt in the other room pulling himself together was more than Blaine could handle just now. There was this intense desire to throw caution to the wind and chase Kurt down, but he had to squash that line of thought. Instead he walked to the kitchen for a glass of water and stood drinking it down, trying to think of needing to be able to face Kurt in the morning and needing to protect his friendship. This, he reminded himself, was the most important thing, protect the friendship. Never mind that he loved him and wanted him. Blaine had always felt that way, why let that take over in one drunken fit and threaten to destroy everything they had? Only then did Blaine remember the other factor here. Sam. Kurt would never betray him, not really so it was certain that crossing the line with Kurt would only end in his own heart ache. Blaine leaned against the counter and sat the cup down. He needed loud music, strange men, and enough liquor to drown this all out, and he needed it now.

Kurt paced the well worn carpet in his bedroom. So many things had gone down in that room, so many experiences, first times, fights, movie fests. He walked to the far wall, the one that was plastered with thin black photo frames, holding a large collection of Kurt’s favorite photos of the people in his life; pictures of him and Sam from his senior prom, of them shoving ice cream in each other’s faces over the summer before college, old, faded pictures of him as a child with his mom and dad, pictures from Dalton, one where Blaine and Kurt smiled, arms linked. There was a photo, third one to the left of he and Blaine snuggled up on a couch making faces at Finn, who had been the one to take the picture. Kurt hovered, looking over the picture longer than necessary. The picture, the simplicity and perfection of their friendship made Kurt tear up. He slides down the north wall, sitting on the worn out carpet. Finally, his breath shaky, he dried his eyes and went into his bathroom to splash some water on his face. He let out a sigh and faked a smile. He was a fucking actor. Kurt had been acting before he was walking; surely he could act like he and Blaine were ok? He walked out the bedroom and turned to see Blaine. “Ready to go?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even.

Blaine felt relief as Kurt came into view again at last. “Ready.” He agreed, his voice still rougher than he would prefer. They left the apartment then and Blaine was momentarily shaken as they were enclosed alone in the elevator and he could smell the familiar scent of Kurt’s cologne even though they weren’t touching. It brought the kiss to mind in an uncomfortable way. Rather than give himself away he jest leaned back against the wall and said nothing. The metal of the elevator wall helped to ground him which made it easier to remember why they were going out and not just snuggled up on the couch already. Finally they were out on the street and the cool night air felt great on Blaine’s face. He glanced over at Kurt and watched as the wind picked up his hair and Blaine had to look away. Where was a cab when you needed one?

Kurt frowned, keeping his glance locked on Blaine as they rode down. He saw himself pinning Blaine to the wall, kissing him deeply, running his hands under his shirt, under his pants, removing his clothes, and exposing both of them their lies, their truths, and their skins to each other. He blinked, he was still standing stuck still in the elevator, and Blaine was still on the other side, staying as far from Kurt as possible. Kurt sighed and hung his head, before turning to face the dark metal door. They swooshed open and Kurt hurried out, Blaine at his heels. Once outside, Kurt tilted his face up to the crisp New York air as they waited for a cab. He caught casual glances at Blaine, before forcing his eyes away and to stay away. Finally, a cab appeared and the two climbed in. Kurt gave directions to a gay bar on the north side. It was a common place for Blaine and Kurt to arrive at. They use to go just about every weekend, hoping to pick someone up. Occasionally they would, but sometimes, they’d end up just too wrapped up in a conversation with each other. This was of course only during the off times when Kurt and Sam were fighting. Kurt hadn’t gotten in a fight with the blonde for awhile, so he hadn’t been to the bar, especially with Blaine, in awhile.

Blaine slid into the cab next to Kurt and tried to avoid touching him. The ride to the north side was not particularly long, but the silence was stretching thin in the cab. Blaine still wanted to slide over to Kurt and pull him into a kiss that would take his breath away, to pin him to the back of the seat and hold him there until he was done reminding him that they had something too, something good and all their own. Of course he didn’t move. Normally in this situation Blaine would be planning to pick up some trick at the club but he didn’t go home with anyone and he couldn’t bring someone back to Kurt’s. Maybe once the got there it could just be like another regular night and they would talk ad laugh and dance. Blaine hoped so because this whole thing was out of control between them. “This’ll be good.” Blaine said absently. “We haven’t done this in a while.” He added, as though Kurt didn’t already know this.

Kurt stared out the window of the cab, watching the other yellow blurs of taxis pass by. He was lost in thought, feeling Blaine’s presence near him caused way more stress than it should. His thoughts rolled around in his head. Maybe, maybe Blaine was who he was suppose to be with. They had been best friends since the first day they met. In fact, Kurt had been in love with Blaine since the first day he had met him. He had been spying on the Warblers, trying to stay invisible. It was a state he had been in for awhile. After being bullied non-stop, the before confident Kurt broke, and only the kindness from Blaine had saved him. He felt his phone ring in his pocket. It was the third time Sam had called him that night and the guilt was too much to handle. He rolled down his window of the cab and chucked the cell phone out it. Sighing, he leaned back against the seat, his side momentarily brushing Blaine’s side. He blushed, and moved away. “Sorry,” he muttered. But then nodded at Blaine’s comment. “Yeah, it’ll be good to have some fun.” He said, trying to give a smile.

Blaine did not comment on the cell phone incident. Everything that came to mind to say was either in very bad taste or would give Kurt too much insight into Blaine’s feelings for him. There was a thrill though, and electric thrill that went straight through Blaine when that cell phone went flying out the window. The rest of the ride to the club was fairly uneventful. Blaine was trying to keep his eyes forward or out his own window rather than on Kurt, who suddenly seemed so present in this moment that it was overwhelming to Blaine. Maybe it was the symbolic gesture of throwing out the phone but Blaine really felt that Kurt was giving him what he could tonight, even if that was just his attention and his time. It was someone beautiful really. Blaine stole a glance Kurt’s way and marveled, not for the first time, at his beauty. When they first met Blaine thought Kurt was the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. Now he’d gown into a man but his beauty had somehow sharpened. Blaine did his best never to focus on this but tonight it seemed so close that Blaine just wanted to reach out and run his finger over Kurt’s soft cheeks and full lips. He was quick to hop out of the cab the minute they were at the club and he practically threw the money at the cabbie.

Kurt chewed the inside of the check as the cab raced down the street. Kurt kept a watch on Blaine out of the corner of his eyes. There were so many things he wanted to say to Blaine, he tried to roll over the thoughts in his head; how he would formulate the words without making the situation sound as complicated as it was. He couldn’t very well say, Oh, Blaine, by the way, I know I really really like Sam and we’ve been dating for, oh…I don’t know, three years now, but I’ve always been in love with you. Only you. And when we do this hey, let’s kiss and cuddle and pretend it doesn’t mean anything, well, that’s actually really difficult for me….Yeah, like that would go over well. He sighed, and slouched in his car for the rest of the ride. He was hyper aware of Blaine’s eyes taking occasional glances at him, and it caused the tips of his ears to flush. Once at the club, Kurt climbed out of the cab, thankful for the now fresh air to hopefully calm down his racing head. The thumping bass could be heard from outside the club, and the two followed the noise to the door. It had been awhile since Kurt had been to a club, or had a drink, for that matter. He had been so against drinking ever since a bad college party experience with Sam that he had stayed off the stuff, but tonight, with all the confusion going on, getting drunk was all he wanted. He headed to the bar, immediately he was hit on by the bar tender. Kurt, being Kurt, was oblivious, and ordered a lime beer. He wanted alcohol and he wanted it now. He took a long sip of the drink, and leaned against the bar, keeping Blaine in sight.


	3. Scientist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine and Kurt find that being at the club surrounded by people is no easier than being at home all alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 Song: Scientist by Coldplay

Blaine trailed behind Kurt, watching the way he carried himself like he owned the place, and it wasn’t lost on Blaine that several pairs of eyes followed Kurt all the way up to the bar. He hung back enjoying the way Kurt ignored the bartender’s advances. Blaine was pretty sure that Kurt had no idea the effect his tall lean frame had on everyone around him. Once Kurt had his beer in hand Blaine joined him and ordered the same. This was familiar and comfortable territory and was supposed to help take Blaine’s mind off of kissing Kurt and touching Kurt, but it was failing horribly. Only now he wanted to be pressed up against Kurt on the dance floor and feeling his body move beneath his hands. He downed his beer, fast, faster than was wise and grabbed Kurt’s hand. “Let’s dance!” He said as he pulled Kurt to the dance floor.”

Kurt chugged the rest of his beer, knowing that the combination of alcohol, pounding bass, and fast movement would lead him to feel sick later, but to be honest? He didn’t care in the least. His self respect had been so low recently and couldn’t care less if he spent the next morning over the toliet bowl hung over. He allowed Blaine to pull him onto the dance floor, letting the bright techno lights flash around them. The strobe lights caused a needed distraction, causing Kurt to only see Blaine’s face in blips. Before he knew what he was doing, he was dancing on Blaine, taking Blaine’s arms and wrapping them around his waist, moving his hips against Blaine’s thighs. He let his head move back and forth, his purposely messy hair shaking from side to side. He moved in perfect time to the beat, oblivious to everything except the flashing lights and how close…close…closer…..his body was getting with Blaine.

Blaine was perfectly happy to have Kurt against him, moving with him to the rhythm of the music. The bass thumped through his veins, the flashing lights brought the world in and out of focus until everything took on a dreamy quality, but nothing was as thrilling as Kurt dancing just as Blaine had imagined. Against him, with him, the two of them moving as one. Blaine trailed his hands up and down Kurt’s sides, around to his back, up around his neck, and back down again. Finally he had his hands wrapped around the back of Kurt’s neck and he was pulling Kurt closer until their foreheads were almost touching and this, this, was what he needed. Never mind the strange men, he wanted Kurt. He always had.

Kurt’s breath caught in his throat as his forehead touched Blaine’s. The gentle contact was enough to make him want to cry, the reality of the situation cycled in his brain. How fucked up was it that he was trying to drink away his emotions, his emotions and connections he was feeling about *not* his boyfriend. But the second he felt Blaine’s arms around his neck, the way their bodies fit together so perfectly, they always had. They always had a tendency to blend, to mesh so perfectly. He chewed his lip as their hearts beat in time with each other and in time with the music. All logic, all guilt and consciousness was dumped from his brain as he lifted his chin, his lips gently brushing Blaine’s before he was kissing him deeply. The depth of the kiss was on the edge of that unspoken line. That well touched, well seen line that was drawing thinner and thinner. With one nip of Blaine’s bottom lip, with wrapping his arms tightly around his waist, pulling his in closer, the line was tipped, and Kurt couldn’t stop his fallen to the other side.

When Kurt’s lips hit his own, Blaine felt that tension between them amp right back up. It was so perfect; he couldn’t even think to fight it. Later he could worry about what he was doing to Kurt’s life, to Kurt’s relationship, but then again, Kurt was a grown ass man, and he wasn’t forcing any of this. Blaine let his mind go then, no more thoughts beyond pulling Kurt closer, pushing over that line, and he slipped his tongue into Kurt’s mouth. The world just went away. The most surprising thing of this moment for Blaine was not the passion or the heat, that he knew, that was expected. It was the fluttery feeling in his chest, the warmth bubbling up his throat, and it was the fact that he knew what he needed was to love Kurt, and for the first time ever be allowed to show the love that wet beyond friendship, however epic their friendship had been. He had always loved Kurt, but there had never been this, despite years of flirtation.

Kurt stepped backwards, thankful for the wall that was close behind them. His back slammed against the wall, the lights flashed quicker, the flashing as well as the music seemed to speed up right along with Kurt’s heart, with Kurt’s desire. His lips parted eagerly, his tongue darting to meet Blaine’s, he moaned into the kiss. The mixture of the music, the slight buzz from the alcohol, and the intoxication that was Blaine took over Kurt. He pulled Blaine close, keeping Kurt pinned to the wall. He ran his hands slowly down his back, falling in love all over again with the grooves of Blaine’s body. He knew it all too well after several years of sleepovers and cuddling. But it was all so new, the exploration, the rush…..Kurt’s mind was exploding with thoughts, but he was unable to pull away. He knew the guilt would set in the moment their lips broke away, but he couldn’t…he just couldn’t be away. He craved Blaine’s touch, Blaine’s taste. He craved his lips like oxygen.

Blaine fell against Kurt as his back hit the wall and he pressed into him hard. It was like crashing against the wall he’d built around his heart, everything just came apart at once. His heart thudded painfully and there wasn’t enough air, but there was Kurt and it was as if Kurt’s mouth was all he needed to live. He nipped, and kissed, and tasted every part of Kurt’s mouth, and jaw, and neck. He ground his hips against Kurt’s trying to find that perfect friction. Everything was Kurt and Kurt was everywhere and Blaine no longer cared about consequences or games or what tomorrow would bring, he needed this just as it was and he wanted more.

Kurt’s body locked into Blaine’s, fitting oh so perfectly into the every nook and cranny that was Blaine. Their hips locked and he felt his hands run down toward Blaine’s slim hips, grounding them into him closer, biting the boy’s bottom lip at the contact. When he finally pulled away, his breathing was rapid and his eyes fluttered open, finally adjusting to the flashing light, settling their gaze on Blaine’s hazel eyes. He removed one hand from Blaine’s hips, and lightly placed it on Blaine’s checks. Both his hand and Blaine’s check were flushed, steaming hot from the contact. Kurt let out a silent breath, rubbing Blaine’s check softly. “Want…um, want to get another drink?” He offered, not removing his hand from Blaine’s check, not wanting to break contact.

Blaine was literally trembling by the time Kurt broke away and he stood gasping for breath. He didn’t exactly move his body back at first; he was still pressed tightly to Kurt. Blaine could feel the line of Kurt’s body molded against his own. All he could do was nod in answer to Kurt and he tried to move back and give Kurt some room to breathe. He didn’t want to lose all of that contact though so he took one of Kurt’s hands gently from his face and pulled Kurt off the wall with a shaky smile. Finally he found his voice. “I think a drink is a good idea.” He said and he led the way back through the crowd to the bar and ordered them another round of drinks, these stiffer than the beers they’d had before. Blaine slid onto a stool and tried letting go of Kurt’s hand, but it just didn’t happen.

Kurt was in a dream state as he was led by Blaine’s guiding pull to the bar. You know when you feel asleep during a long car ride, you fall asleep in one state, and wake up in another, on aware of how you get there? Kurt was there. He was floating through the sweating bodies. The strange men dancing to the rave music all blurred together and Blaine’s arm was the only clear thing to Kurt. The thumping bass echoed the thoughts racing in his head. What.the.fuck.had.he.done? Each thump of the bass emphasized a word of that question. The line, the boundaries, the years of unspoken rules they had had between each other was now snapped in two. Kurt felt hectic, panicky, as though his daily bedtime routine was now completely thrown out of whack. The walk to the bar felt like ages. He finally had the alcohol in his hand, and was leaning against the stool, looking across the table to where Blaine was. He smiled, and gave a sigh, before downing the shot. Sorry I ruined everything, B….he thought to himself bitterly, downing yet another shot. He looked down at their joined hands. For a second, he felt as though Blaine was about to pull away, he intertwined their fingers, telling him he didn’t want him to go.

Blaine’s eyes never strayed from Kurt. He took in every part. The swollen red lips, the tousled hair, the high pink on Kurt’s cheeks. Blaine kept thinking, ‘I did that.’ ‘We did that.’ He downed two shots of tequila which were supposed to numb him but he felt this coiling in his belly. What if Kurt had regrets? Of course he would he’s in a serious relationship and had been for some time with Sam. Blaine just kept staring at him as though there would be some clue as to his state of mind. The walls were back up, the line was being drawn once more. Then he wound their fingers together and Blaine felt better. Not great but better. At least Kurt wasn’t repulsed now. “I think we should go, is that alright?” he asked.

Kurt could feel that wall; he could feel that mask Blaine was putting up. When the two had first started their…their complicated relationship so to speak, it was after prom. Kurt’s junior year. Kurt had wanted more than anything to go with Sam, but he, still being in the closet and dealing with a lot of home stuff, didn’t want to risk what that would mean by going with Kurt. Kurt had ended up not going and instead went to Blaine’s all night. It started like any other sleepover; bad eighties music, junk food, and some singing normally happened. But tonight, Blaine was extra cuddly and Kurt extra needy. It made an explosive combination, and the two ended up kissing. More than the few pecks they had shared in the past. No, this was Kurt’s first full on make out session. After, Kurt was left confused, and Blaine numbed out. It had been hard on both of them, and inch by inch, they drew that line; that ever remaining line. But finally, finally after all those years of Kurt wanting to take a huge eraser to it, the line was broken. But Kurt could feel it being redrawn, and he was being shoved back to his appropriate side, torn away once more from Blaine. He sighed, and looked down, focusing solely on their joined hands. They still felt a million miles away. “Ok, yeah. We should go home….” he agreed, his tone weak.


	4. Set Fire to the Third Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at Kurt's with music, a slow dance, and confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 Songs: Inertia Creeps by Massive Attack and Set Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol

Blaine kept Kurt’s hand, he had to, it was like breathing, he had no choice. He slipped through the crowd, his heart feeling heavier and heavier with each step. The only thing that kept him going was knowing that he had tonight alone with Kurt and the memory of his lips and arms to keep him warm. Blaine hailed another cab and swayed a little on his feet. When had he gotten drunk? He wasn’t clear on that he was only clear on the fact that going to the club had not relieved the tension growing between him and Kurt, but only upped the ante so to speak. When Blaine slid in to the cab he did not fight the need to pull Kurt in close. He didn’t speak and he didn’t try anything further, but he had to keep that contact, maintain that illusion that they were sharing something bigger than the both of them. As long as Kurt didn’t hate him for it he was going to keep that contact up the rest of this night. Tomorrow they could worry about all the implications, all the fallout. What he really wanted was to lean over and kiss Kurt like that just once more while he felt they could still possibly get away with it. 

Kurt climbed into the cab, the whole scenario feeling all too familiar, but this time, even more intense. Regardless of if he should or not, once in the cab, Kurt cuddled up to Blaine’s chest, pulling at his arms until they wrapped around his middle. He was already feeling slightly woozy from the alcohol he had drank. Kurt was light, and his alcohol tolerance low, so he was easily all ready a mess. He closed his eyes and tried to ground his racing head, focusing only on the beating of Blaine’s heart. He sighed, a small smile on his lips at their closeness. In the cab however, his mind flicked to the cell phone he had thrown out and more importantly, to Sam. Every logical part of him was screaming bloody murder at him to move to get off Blaine to stop where this was obviously heading. But nothing could make him move from the spot. It felt too damn right. Once the cab arrived at his apartment, Kurt paid the fee, realizing he was too anxious to be around Blaine to realize Blaine, the person whom had just got evicted, had paid the last cab fee. He groaned, telling himself he needed to be a better friend to Blaine. He struggled to climb out of the cab and finally, still holding close to Blaine, made their way upstairs back to their home. Their home….

By the time they were back at the apartment and on the elevator up, Blaine was holding onto Kurt for bodily support as much as anything else. That was the liquor catching up to him, he realized. He was supposed to be behaving now, he really wanted to, but instead he just kept smelling Kurt’s cologne, or squeezing Kurt’s hand. It was all very confusing now. At the same time it lacked the urgency from before. Now it just felt nice to give in. The line was there, they were safe to cuddle now, right? Blaine headed straight for the couch when they got in the door and he sat down heavily looking up at Kurt. “It’s so quiet here now.” Was all he could think to say which was much better than get over here and kiss me, so Blaine figured that despite being intoxicated he was still ahead of the game. “Kurt.” He whispered, but this was mainly to himself. 

Kurt struggled up the flights of stairs. They should have took the damn elevator, but that caused too much….tension last time and he didn’t know how he felt about increasing the possibility of making out so intensely with Blaine again….Hell, what was he saying? He actually really wanted that; more than anything. Sam! he reminded himself, he had Sam. He couldn’t want that. He mindlessly paced the room, unaware that he was doing so. He kept his eyes down, looking at the well worn carpet he was pacing. It was a common thing, many a nights Kurt had spent pacing this carpet. He crossed his arms over his chest, unintentionally keeping his distance from Blaine as the guilt consumed him. All the pacing and the throbbing from the alcohol was not a good match, so when Blaine finally called out for him, he reached for Blaine, taking his hands before he stumbled his way to the couch, resting his head into his lap, unable to hold his own head up anymore. “Blaine….” he responded, just as quietly. He closed his eyes, just enjoying the moment of lying on his lap. His it’s so quiet in here comment was still running through his mind, and suddenly, lyrics started to form. “Will you dance with me?” He asked, opening his eyes and looking up at Blaine. He sat up slowly, holding his head as he removed it from Blaine’s lap. “I…I have a song I want to play for you.”

Blaine pulled Kurt down into his lap with a sigh. This was such a mess. He hated to think he was messing around in Kurt’s life to the point that Kurt might not be so sweet and forgiving in the morning. They’d only ever had two real fights during their entire friendship and one of them had been over Sam before. He hoped Kurt wouldn’t misconstrue what had happened as having anything to do with Sam on Blaine’s part. Once Kurt had made it clear that Sam was the one, Blaine had been careful, mostly careful to respect the fact. But now they had shared something, something they had not shared since they were teenagers, and Blaine knew the game was much different now as adults. When Kurt offered a dance and a song, Blaine could only agree softly. 

“I’d love to hear it.” He whispered. 

Kurt stood up, directing all his chaotic thoughts into that effort, gently pulling Blaine up with him. “Hold on one second,” he whispered, nervously squeezing his hand, before stumbling off into his room to grab a CD. It was a shiny mix tape, a plain CD with only the words To Blaine on it. Kurt tried to keep it flipped over so the labeled side didn’t show. Finally, he popped the CD into the CD player and went to track three. Iris began to play; the simple guitar strumming filled the room. He gave a light smile and stepped towards Blaine. “May I have this dance?” He asked, nervously, forcing himself to look into Blaine’s beautiful hazel eyes. He slowly took Blaine’s hand, placing one in his right hand, and one on his waist. The two began to sway in time to the music. Kurt gently sang along so Blaine could hear the words. 

Do you remember the first kiss?  
Stars shooting across the sky  
To come to such a place as this  
You never left my mind

Blaine stepped into Kurt’s arms and as the music began his heart seemed to skip a crazy beat. P.J. Harvey? Blaine knew the song and the lyrics well, but hearing them come out of Kurt’s mouth was a heady experience. Blaine was looking into Kurt;s deeply blue eyes and feeling the warmth of his back beneath his shirt. It was a little overwhelming. Was Kurt….could he be trying to say what it seemed he was trying to say? Blaine joined in because how could he not?

I'm watching from the wall  
As in the streets we fight  
This world all gone to war  
All I need is you tonight

And I draw a line  
To your heart today  
'To your heart from mine  
A line to keep us safe'

All through the rising sun  
All through the circling years  
You were the only one  
Who could have brought me here

He sang softly but mainly he just listened to Kurt sing, Kurt’s voice had always had a special affect on Blaine and tonight was the same way. Blaine felt like these were his words to Kurt though. Could Kurt be feeling the same way? The music swirled around him and what he felt was so different than what he had felt at the club. This excitement was something else altogether.

And I draw a line  
To your heart today  
'To your heart from mine  
A line to keep us safe'

Kurt had his head nestled into Blaine’s neck comfortably situated as they swayed back and forth to the music. He sang quietly into Blaine’s ear, trying to send the emotions he was feeling out through every word. The emotions, the words of the song, everything came rushing towards him and he stopped suddenly, carefully lowering the song volume as he lifted his head and looked into Blaine’s eyes. “I…” he started, everything inside him, all the words he had planned out to say turned to mush the moment his eyes locked with Blaine’s. It was an automatic response, one that had happened so many times. There were so many nights when Kurt would have wanted to study, but Blaine would want to go do something fun. One look from his eyes, and Kurt had thrown his textbooks out the window. Today, in this moment, as cautious as he logically knew he had to be about what he was about to say, looking into Blaine’s eyes, it was hard to speak from anywhere that wasn’t the heart. “I want you to…to need me. I want…” he said slowly. He sighed and shook his head. No, that wasn’t what he wanted to say either. Why was this so hard? “This isn’t….this isn’t like how it usual is..” he tried again.

Blaine’s feet had actually stopped moving and his arms circled Kurt in a careful way as though this moment were somehow more intense than what they’d shared earlier and he didn’t want to ruin it. Kurt had always been his to touch or hold or kiss if he had needed it, or wanted it; if he was bored or drunk or lonely. Blaine had offered the same to Kurt often enough in return and though it wasn’t all he could have wanted it was good and special. It was unlike anything he shared with anyone else. Others had his body when they wanted it. They had a tumble in the sheets or in the back of a car, but they never had his affection. They never had his love the way Kurt did. And now, with this song playing around them and Kurt singing softly in his ear, Blaine was thinking that while he had always wanted more, Kurt had too, and maybe circumstances had thwarted Kurt’s plans as well. When he pulled back and began to speak Blaine felt literally choked on everything he was feeling. He wanted to whisper at Kurt, ‘Say it. Please say it.’ Instead he said, “It isn’t the same for me either, Kurt. It hasn’t been all night.” He still needed Kurt to be the one to take the final step, after all Kurt was the one with the boyfriend. 

Kurt leaned into Blaine, hiding his face into his chest. He inhaled quietly, taking in his scent, the familiar, comforting smell of Blaine. Kurt’s hands were clammy, and he clasped them together behind Blaine’s back, hoping the other man wouldn’t see how nervous he was. His heart pounded in his ears, making it difficult to formulate the proper words. This was it, Kurt thought to himself. This would be the moment he finally told Blaine how he felt, how he had always felt. Kurt loved Sam, he loved his geeky obsessions and little manners about him, but Kurt wasn’t in love with Sam. No one touched the spot Blaine had in his heart, had always had, and always would. “I…” he started, speaking finally. His voice sounded foreign to him, he felt like he was in a dream. He kept his face hide in Blaine’s chest, his voice muffled. “I’m in love with you. I always have been…” The moment the words left his lips, a thousand pound weight felt like it had lifted from his shoulders. “Please say you love me back?”

Blaine ran his hands up and down Kurt’s back, softly and slowly for support. He leaned his head against Kurt and just held on, waiting for Kurt to speak again. Over the years Blaine had thought they had made it to this point more than once. Kurt would go all serious on him and end up telling him things like how much he secretly loved some country son, or how he had tried to make his own secret sauce and ended up giving Sam food poisoning; never had it ever been that he wanted Blaine and only Blaine. Blaine had often teased Kurt that he was a bit of a drama queen, but he just knew this time would be the time. Knowing it and hearing it were entirely different things though because until Kurt said he loved him he could still back out. “You can tell me.” Blaine added trying to sound encouraging. Then, Kurt began again, softly, mumbling against Blaine. Then he said the words, the one that Blaine had wanted to hear for so very long. It didn’t even matter to Blaine that there were still obstacles, Kurt loved him! He pulled Kurt bac a tiny bit so he could look him right in his big blue eyes and he said, “I’m in love with you Kurt, and I have been for years. I want to be with you and I want you to need me every bit as much as I need you,” He finished with a light kiss for emphasis.

Kurt could feel the electric tingle run its course fully through his veins again. It was the lightness of finally having said those words; those emotions and connections to Blaine that had been building up for years. The thought of finally letting them out, letting them surface in Kurt’s conscious and to happen scared the hell out of him. He had no idea what he would be met with if he jumped, hell, ran right through, that line drawn between them. But the moment Blaine gently lifted his chin, forcing Kurt to gain courage after what he had said, he knew. He knew Blaine felt the same way. He didn’t even need to say it, mind you, it was nice to hear. In fact, it was more than nice to hear. It made his heart do crazy flips and his hands shake again. He took Blaine’s hands and squeezed them, trying to calm the tidal waves of thoughts racing through his brain. Blaine was that one clear spot, and he focused all his energy on to it. “Thank God,” he whispered finally, letting out a quiet sigh, and slightly collapsing into Blaine’s warm, strong arms. The moment the contact with Blaine was made everything became clear. He knew tomorrow morning, he’d have to deal with the hangover, the consequences, the difficulties, and most of all…the boyfriend, but now, he was in Blaine’s arms, where he belonged.

It felt like so many years of pressure and weight were suddenly gone and Blaine was high on the feeling. Of course they’d not made any promises or plans yet, but then they had made their declarations and that was good enough for tonight. Blaine held on to Kurt as he collapsed against Blaine and suddenly Blaine could feel the exhaustion take up in the place of the stress. He was drunk, he was tired, and he was finally at peace with Kurt after all these years. There was no line now between them and it felt great. He just wanted o climb in bed now and hold on to Kurt and never have to let go again. “Are you as sleepy as I am love?” He asked while stroking his hand through Kurt’s soft hair. “We can continue all of this in the morning.” He suggested softly. Kissing would also be alright with Blaine but he felt maybe they had both had almost all they could handle for one night.

Kurt yawned, his nose crinkled as he did, his eyes squinting closed. Once he opened them tiredly, he nodded, and rested his head against Blaine’s shoulder. He sighed, content with where he was; content with what they had, and more importantly, what they could be. “Can we…” he started, whispering into Blaine’s ear, still holding his hand, not wanting to let go, not wanting to ever fall back to his side of the line again. “Can we sleep in the same bed?” He whispered, his check blushing a bit at the statement. Tonight had been…intense for both of them. Between the cab ride and the club especially, Kurt understood how his comment could have been taken sexually, but quite honestly, Kurt was just terrified of losing contact with Blaine for too long. He bit his lip, frustrated at how attached he felt to Blaine already. He chalked it up to the newness of their situation and to the alcohol in his system. “I just,” he said nervously, hiding his face again, terrified of sounding venerable, “I just don’t want to be without you tonight….” he said finally.


	5. Little Lion Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Complications arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 Song: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons

Blaine marveled at the rush of emotions he was able to have despite his exhausted condition. Everything felt so new, as if he had not been carrying these feelings around for several years. Kurt seemed so fragile in his arms, but he knew the reality was that they were both fragile. When Kurt asked if they could go ahead and sleep in the bed together, Blaine could only be relieved. He needed to be with Kurt as badly as Kurt needed to be with him. It simply was not an option to separate and have Kurt off in another room. He had to be touching Kurt, had to know this was real; he had to know this had happened.

He started moving before he’d answered because he was so worn he couldn’t stand there debating it anymore in his head. “Come to bed now.” He told Kurt gently as he tugged him along. “We can sleep together, I don’t want to be without you either.” Then he was pulling Kurt into the bedroom and had to let go of him long enough to kick off his shoes, strip out of shirt and socks, and then he was tugging Kurt into the bed and collapsing against the pillows. Goodnight baby.” He whispered, and he kissed Kurt’s hand before drifting right off to sleep.

The next morning, Kurt blinked, willing the sleep to leave his eyes. He could feel his legs entwined with Blaine’s, his strong arms still wrapped over his waist. Kurt rolled over to his other side, ever so careful not to wake up a sleeping Blaine. He shifted so his face was inches away from Blaine’s. A small smile formed on his face at the sight of Blaine so close. He had never left. At around four that morning, Kurt had woken up startled, he had been terrified of waking up without Blaine next to him. What if last night had been nothing but a drunken escapade? 

They often did this, this cuddle and kiss. As much as Kurt didn’t want to admit it, their relationship had always had an intense level. There had always been tension, but both had unspokenly decided to ignore it. For this reason, the moment they drove through the tension, it was frightening. Kurt let out a quiet sigh, reaching out to stroke Blaine’s check. Please be real, please be real…He closed his eyes, and smiled as his fingers touched Blaine’s soft skin. “Thank you…” he whispered. He leaned forward and softly kissed his forehead, before slithering out of bed. He grabbed an old NYU t-shirt and walked into the kitchen. He was about to make some breakfast for the two, when he heard a lock in his door, and saw the doorknob turn than swing open. There stood Sam, walking into the apartment.

Blaine was gone, no dreams, no sense of anything. He was wiped. Nothing seemed to reach him. He did wake up one around five to find himself still tucked against Kurt, but that was all he needed to know before he drifted back off to sleep. Maybe had he not been drunk the night before he might have felt Kurt slip from the bed the next morning. Or he might have awoken to the alarming sound of a key in the lock. Living in New York had given Blaine incredible reflexes for the most part, but no today. Today he was blissed out and hearing nothing as Sam entered the apartment just steps from Kurt’s bedroom.

Kurt dropped the spatula he had in his hand, digging around in his kitchen, trying to find everything he needed to make Blaine pancakes, with an extra dash of vanilla, just how he liked them. “Sammy…?” He said, turning around the face the blonde. “What…what are you doing here?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He bit the inside of his check, knowing that he was making himself guiltier than he was. Guiltier than he was? He cheated on Sam. Twice. In one night. He sighed and stepped towards Sam. 

“Hey babe,” the blonde said, he stepped forward, prepared to give Kurt a hug, but he froze, looking into the open room behind him. There was unmistakably a bush of messy, curly hair sticking out from a pile of covers in Kurt’s bed. “Fuck you,” he said, stepping back from Kurt, immediately putting two and two together. He didn’t care who it was or what went down. Kurt had cheated on him. 

Kurt closed his eyes and bit his lip, he really hadn’t wanted to have this conversation like this. “Sammy, please. Just... hear me out.” 

Sam shook his head, and started to gather his things, throwing his coat back on.”Forget it Kurt. God, I gave up everything for you.” 

Kurt froze, stunned by his words and as he threw the key to Kurt’s apartment that Kurt had given him, onto the floor. Kurt covered his face, his hangover headache now coming full swing. His heart was racing and thoughts were stinging through his brain. “Sam….” was all he could say, as the blonde stormed off. Kurt reached out, touching the wall and trying to steady himself. He felt sick. This was too much. He should have done this in another way. He felt sick... Finally, he found himself over the toilet bowl, emptying the remaining alcohol from his stomach.

Blaine woke up to Sam saying 'fuck you' to Kurt. He laid stock still under the covers just listening to things fall apart. He really didn’t have too many options. It wasn’t out of cowardice it was more out of respect for Kurt. Anything he said or did during those few moments would take away from whatever Kurt was going to say or do, so he just let Kurt face it alone. The moment the door was shut and Kurt was racing to the bathroom, Blaine was with him, one hand on his back as he emptied the contents of his stomach. 

Blaine tried to come across as soothing but the truth was he felt a little sick himself. It’s not as if this was a victory for either of them. Obviously Blaine wanted to be with Kurt but he’d thought Kurt would have time to end things with Sam in any way other than this. He was also aware that part of why this had been so terrible this morning was because he was selfish. He should have slept on the damned couch. “Oh baby.” He said softly as he got up to get a washcloth wet for Kurt. “I wish like crazy that had not just happened that way. Blaine handed the washcloth over and something occurred to him. Something he’d rather not say aloud. “Do you need some time alone?”

Kurt’s head was pounding and his stomach was way too queasy for comfort. “Fuck,” he murmured to himself, after thanking Blaine and taking the washcloth from him. He wiped his face, then covered his face with his hands, hanging his head, his forehead lightly resting against Blaine’s chest. Everything was happening much too fast. It hadn’t been more than twenty four hours ago that he had woken up next to Sam, the two walking hand in hand to class and now? He’d probably never be able to look him in the eye without guilt consuming him. More so, he felt terrible for what Blaine must be going through. Kurt had just told him he loved him, they had both gone out of their comfort zone to be there for each other, and now, Kurt could feeling himself shutting down. 

He was one of those people that always followed his heart, sometimes to the point of not being able to think through the consequences. When things worked out poorly, he broke down, the guilt causing him to push everything away. The last thing he wanted to do was be away from Blaine, but he knew that the pounding in his head would not decrease if he didn’t give himself to stop and realize what he had just done. He felt himself stand up, backing away from Blaine. He finally nodded at Blaine’s question. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his lip quivering. The guilt was now intensifying as he thought of what Blaine must be thinking. “I just…I need a moment,” he said, backing out of the bathroom. He headed into his studio, and shut the screen doors behind him, sitting down on the green carpet, holding his head in his arms. What had he done?

There was a moment when Blaine hoped that Kurt would not need to take some time; that he would be okay that all of the selfish mean things Blaine was thinking were really okay and he and Kurt were going to be great. That moment passed very quickly as Kurt pressed into him and whispered softly. He did need time. Of course he did, he was only human after all. Blaine nodded slowly trying to decide the best way to handle things. He was going to say okay or something else supportive but Kurt was backing away and leaving. He actually shut himself away in another room. 

Blaine walked out a stood in the living room for a moment, thinking. It was still very early, too early for work and today he had no class. So he just grabbed his phone, his wallet, and threw on his clothes. With one last look at the closed screen doors, Blaine was out of the apartment walking in the cool morning air and trying not to over analyze the situation. He would get some coffee and sit around until his shift. If Kurt needed him for some strange reason, he could call. Blaine rubbed the heel of his hand stubbornly against his eyes as if to force back any tears that would threaten him now. 

Kurt heard the front door to the apartment open and close, knowing Blaine had left. Kurt crept out of the studio and stared emotionless after him. He bit his lip, causing himself to draw blood, but he didn’t pay attention. What was he doing? He loved Blaine, and yet he was pushing him away. All he wanted to do was run after him, chasing after the boy down the hall, grab his hand and ask him to never go. But that thought scared him. Kurt didn’t know why he was being so hesitant; Blaine had been nothing but a perfect gentleman through all of this, and throughout their whole friendship at that. But this was all so complicated. 

Kurt’s feelings were clear; he loved Blaine, there was no question about it, but Sam…Sam had given everything up for Kurt, following him to New York. Kurt slammed his fist against the far wall, causing it to shake; a few photos fell from the wall onto the carpet and broke. One of them was the picture of Sam, wearing an Avatar shirt and Kurt kissing his check. Kurt crouched down onto the carpet looking at the photo. He knew this was a sign.

After cleaning up the photo album, he began to sweep through the apartment, collecting everything of Sam’s, and packing it up neatly into a box, with a letter and a charm bracelet he had gotten him for his upcoming birthday. Then, using his home phone, thank god for it, seeing as he no longer had a cell phone, he left a voice mail for Sam about his things, hoping they could talk. The next and most important thing to deal with next was Blaine. 

Kurt grabbed his iPod and decided to take a walk to the coffee shop he knew Blaine would be at. He turned on Mumford and the Sons’ Little Lion Man, and tried not to tear up over how perfect it was. Kurt had been risky, he knew how Blaine felt about him, or at least had an idea. Kurt should have been more careful. He clenched his fist, which caused the swelling from punching the wall to worsen. Finally, he arrived at the coffee house.

Blaine sat around the coffee house reading this week’s assignment in music theory and indulging in entirely too many espressos until his shift at 12pm. Then he slipped on his apron and got to work. He tried not to think about Kurt and Sam because every time he did he would imagine all the scenarios where he was left out and Kurt and Sam reconciled. It’s not that Blaine thought that Kurt was a liar or was in some other way misleading, but he knew that Kurt was kind hearted and loved Sam. He might feel too much guilt over what had happened with Blaine and he might seek to make up with Sam. Of course then they would have makeup sex and the deal would be sealed so to speak. Blaine could not think about these things because the ideas were eating away at his insides. Instead he simply bent to the task at hand and served the good people their coffee; until he saw Kurt walk in the door.


	6. The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine meet and the coffee house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 Song: The Story by Brandi Carlile

Kurt inhaled a long breath, before exhaling, trying to stay calm. He focused solely on the task ahead which was to make it known to Blaine that he wanted him by his side, that he’d need to take it slow, but that he didn’t want to have to go a second without having Blaine there. Being able to have lunch after classes with him, to pretend to study for exams together, to go to bed and wake up in each other’s arms…He pushed those thoughts aside, he was all ready planning the future; the future that he might not even have. “Hey,” he said softly, meeting Blaine’s eyes as he walked up to the coffee counter. “I um, I need to get some coffee for this guy I know,” Kurt said softly, giving Blaine a playful smile. “He’s practically perfect, and I just want him to know how much I need him. Is there a coffee that gives off that…vibe?” He asked, trying hard not to laugh at how lame he sounded.

Blaine’s eyes didn’t want to stray from Kurt’s but he was busy and had to focus on not spilling drinks everywhere. Finally Kurt was at the counter and placing a very sweet order. “I happen to believe that cinnamon is good for saying you’re needed.” Blaine smiled. “So is coming to my work and making me smile.” He added. Blaine’s stress from earlier that morning ebbed back a good deal. He and Kurt were okay, he wasn’t sure exactly where they were, but he knew now that they were okay. “Let me get someone up here so we can talk.” He said, dropping his voice while he put in an order under his employee account for Kurt.

Kurt smiled at Blaine, thankful that he didn’t ask him to leave. Once they were at a table in the far corner, he let out a long sigh. “I just want to say, that…as hard as this is for me right now, and as hard as it is for Sam, I know that it’s probably actually most difficult for you.” He had been looking down as he spoke, but finally forced himself to look up. “And I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. I…I should have been more careful, and I’m sorry.” He bit his lips, his hands shaking a bit. ” But….if you still want, I really, really want to be with you. But we need to go slow. I love you, Blaine, but I’ve seen what you do in relationships, you completely self destruct and I can’t….I can’t ever be anything negative for you.” He looked away, trying not to cry. “I…I just can’t do that. I need, I need to know that if we do this, we’ll…we’ll be ok. I can’t lose you, B. I can’t. And I know how you are in this and I know how I am. I just….I want to be everything good by you.”

Blaine was so happy all of a sudden that the feeling was simply too big to grasp. Though it was being tempered somehow by the rest of what Kurt was saying. Kurt was his, Kurt was cautious. It was a fine balance, and one that both concerned Blaine and thrilled him. He needed a moment to think, to arrange his response not only in his mind but for Kurt who deserved something epic after his declaration. Blaine reached across the table and took Kurt’s hand in his own. “You are amazing, Kurt Hummel. After all of this you come and say the kindest things to me.” Blaine shook his head slowly in wonder; his eyes big and expressive for a change. “I want to be with you, I have always wanted to be with you, and we will go slow because I want it to be what you deserve, and we will be alright because if for some reason we don’t work out, you are still the my best friend and I will never not want and need you in my life.” Blaine took a deep breath and faced the hardest part of what Kurt had said. “I’ll do right by you Kurt; somehow I will find a way to do right by you.” He emphasized this with a squeeze to Kurt’s hands. 

Kurt smiled softly, and squeezed Blaine’s hand in an attempt to calm his clammy hands and to try and reassure Blaine in how much he trusted him, how much he loved him, always. The last few years had been so difficult on both of them. Blaine had gotten more and more self destructive, spending practically every night at the club, it was no wonder he had been broke and unable to pay rent. Their relationship had been so tricky; Blaine had been a mess, manipulative and having such a big influence how Kurt had lived. 

Kurt had wanted so many times to kiss him, to be Blaine’s, but he was terrified. He was terrified of what would happen between them. He let out a long sigh and nodded finally, leaning across the table to kiss Blaine. He forced himself to keep the kiss light, for he was terrified about how intense the kiss could get. “I trust you, Blaine. I always have and I always will. I don’t doubt for a second you doing right by me. I don’t doubt it at all,” he spoke softly, pouring his cycling emotions into his words. He needed Blaine to feel loved, he needed Blaine to trust that Kurt could handle it, that together, they were make it through whatever the world threw at them, that together, they would better each other. “We’re going to get through this, B…” he whispered. “I promise.” His words shook a bit, he couldn’t lie that he was scared. Their relationship, whatever it had been before was already so intense. But Kurt knew, he knew that he and Blaine needed each other. They were meant to be. They always had been.

Blaine meant ever word he said, he did want to do right by Kurt, actually doing right, that was going to be another story. Then, when Kurt kissed him softly, just casually, it moved something inside Blaine. It broke away some of the shell he kept around his heart, and Blaine that, ‘this is really happening. This is going to work!’ The kiss left a small slightly dazed smile on Blaine’s face. Blaine nodded as Kurt spoke. It was a lot for both of them, it was a huge step, but they were taking the steps together, they didn’t have to do this alone. “We can help each other, Kurt, we can get through together, and then, we can just see where it takes us. We’ve always been good at taking care of each other.” Now his voice was shaking. Blaine had all the hope in the world, but his emotions were those of a seventeen year old, as if the time that ad passed meant nothing, and he was going to fall in love with Kurt all over again.


	7. E. T.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fresh beginnings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 Song: E. T. by Katy Perry Ft Kanye West

Waking up with Blaine’s legs entangled with his, his arm softly resting of his waist, Kurt had to blink his eyes open and shut several times to be sure he was awake. That the whole thing wasn’t a dream. He let out a long sigh of relief; Blaine was there. Blaine was Kurt’s, and evenly so, Kurt was Blaine’s. Being Monday morning, the two couldn’t bask in this new found connection, this new found warmth and comfort they held within each other. They both had classes, had work, had studying. Kurt rolled his face over gently to face Blaine’s, and kissed gentle kisses down his check. “Blaine…” he whispered, he couldn’t stop from smiling. “We have to get up. Let me make you breakfast,” he whispered as he ran his fingertips down Blaine’s beautiful chest. More than anything, he wanted to stay in this spot forever, but Blaine was trying to get better, and Kurt encouraging him to skip school, would not be a step in the right direction. It still all felt so surreal. How did Kurt get Blaine? Blaine, whom had always been his everything…

Blaine had not rested so peacefully in years. He went to bed sober, half dressed, and in the arms of someone he loved. The first two he had not experienced in a long time, and the last was entirely new. Normally he was drunk, naked, and alone. He had plenty of men to keep him company before sleep, but he never let any of them stay. Now he was awakened by Kurt’s kisses and whispers, and he just had to think that there were few things in the world better than this right here. He pretended to be asleep just a little bit longer so he could enjoy the attention. “Mmm, nooo.” He protested but a huge grin spread across his face just before he opened his eyes. Blaine reached up and pulled Kurt tight against him and kissed the top of his head. “I suppose we do have to get up.” He said very quietly. Blaine was enjoying the ability to touch Kurt as he liked, to have him in his arms, and the knowledge that this wasn’t a onetime thing. There was also the scent of Kurt’s shampoo which should never be left out of a list of things to love about holding Kurt Hummel. Blaine was certain it was expensive, but it smelled deliciously clean, and very uniquely Kurt all at once. “Let’s go make that breakfast before I decide you need to stay in this bed with me all day,” he said mischievously.

Kurt cuddled up against Blaine’s soft chest. He loved his light dusting of chest hair, it made him quite hobbit like, and he couldn’t lie; Kurt had a thing for hobbits, especially after Lord of the Rings. “Grrr…” he protested, even though he had been the one to remind them both that they had to face life at least at some point. They had been living in a dream world, where the only obligations and responsibilities they had were to each other. Blaine needed to be there for Kurt, Kurt in turn for Blaine. “I really, really don’t like the idea of having to get off you,” he groaned, running kisses all down Blaine’s chest. A shiver went through Kurt’s spine. Yes, they had seen each other naked several times. It’s what they did. They’d cuddle as they watched the two am news, normally wearing little to no clothing. They’d go to the lake late at night and skinny dip until the sun came up. Kurt, normally so shy about his body, had always felt more at home with Blaine, and felt safe being naked around him. Kurt, however, had always had to keep a toe behind that line, careful not to stare too long at Blaine’s beautiful frame, to not touch too long. But now, Blaine belonged to Kurt’s kisses and to Kurt. He ran kisses lower down Blaine’s torso, stopping just under his belly button. “Can’t I stay here forever?” He murmured, his lips still on Blaine’s skin. He shivered a bit at how low down he was on Blaine.

Kurt seemed to be warming up to Blaine’s way of thinking and Blaine had a decision to make. Was he going to be responsible and get up and go to class or was he going to say I bed and enjoy being with his new boyfriend for a little while longer? Kurt’s kisses were definitely helping make up his mind. Too long he’d wanted to do just this, lie together wit no thoughts for being cautious or careful. Kurt was here, he was right here, and they belonged to each other now. There was no man in the middle any more, and Blaine was slowly losing the will to get out of bed to eat, to go to class, or to do anything that required him to stop this moment from going on forever. “Alright.” He said was a smirk. You can stay forever.” He said it as if he were ceding a victory to Kurt rather than the other way around. He guided Kurt’s face back to his own with a hand on each side of Kurt’s head, and then Blaine kissed him, very softly at first. His hands stayed firmly but gently in Kurt’s soft hair, and he held on to the moment, so peaceful, so right. This was how everyone should get to wake up every day.

Kurt allowed Blaine to guide his head gently up to Blaine’s face. Blaine’s kiss was new, new for both of them. Kurt had seen way too many times Blaine with other men. He’d seen the way he had no emotional attachment. They were meaningless to Blaine, and that was the one thing that terrified Kurt about ever having a more…intimate relationship with Blaine. Would he throw Kurt out like he had to several other men over the course of their years in New York together? Any doubt that Kurt had about Blaine’s motives, however, were answered by Blaine’s kiss. The way Blaine’s hands locked around Kurt’s head, fitting so perfectly there. It would feel so wrong for them not too. Kurt eagerly kissed Blaine back, breathing in his scent, feeling their lips mold together gently. He softly straddled Blaine’s side, leaning over his torso, to keep the kiss in contact.

Blaine deepened the kiss, turning Kurt’s head just so, and applying just enough pressure. His tongue swept out carefully, as if seeking permission. Then, because he couldn’t stand it any longer, he let his hands out of Kurt’s hair and they travelled down his back, restless, pulling him closer. This, he thought, this is what he’d been missing. It was almost funny because he’d seen plenty of romantic plays and movies, and musicals, and sung many songs, but he’d never known this type of moment for himself. It was like a drug! He needed more, and he needed it no, but he hardly wanted to move because it might break the spell. Warmth and need spread through him, and this wasn’t at all like the other kisses they had shared. Not even like the ones they’d shared the other night. This was living breathing love, and it filled his senses in a way no other kiss ever had. His tongue slipped into Kurt’s mouth and began to slowly map every crevice. His heart was racing now, but his hands drew lazy circled down Kurt’s back and he just wanted to remember this time forever. As if this kiss was immortal in some way that was beyond him. 

Kurt relaxed into the kiss, the contact feeling so right. His tongue made its way to find Blaine’s. They matched in time, kissing him softly, passionately. He placed his hands onto his waist, keeping him close. Kurt was terrified of any loss of contact. Terrified that the moment he was away from Blaine, they would once more be divided. They would return back to the line, the line Kurt thought was long gone dissolved. But how did he know? Maybe it was still there, waiting. Only one way to find out. Kurt kissed Blaine softly, before pulling away ever so slowly. He kept his arms around Blaine’s waist, but pulled away just far enough so their faces were a mere few inches away. “Every morning,” he said, sighing as the loss of contact did not make Blaine fade away. He leaned forward to shortly kiss him, just needing his lips always. “It’s just going to be me and you,” he said, once he pulled away, before returning for another smal kiss. “I mean, at some point we’ll have to go to classes…” he said, repeating his action of pulling away, than moving forward for a kiss. He pulled away and gave a small smirk, testing to see Blaine’s reaction to the mention of classes taking the place of their cuddle time. He kept his hands on Blaine’s waist, gently massaging his exposed hip bones.

Having Kurt curled up halfway atop him was making Blaine gone silently insane. There was no way he could get up now even if he had wanted to. Blaine was drowning in the kiss and then, when Kurt pulled back he was drowning in clear blue eyes. They were not going t class, and that was final as far as Blaine could tell. He grumbled at the mention of it. “Never mind class today.” He grinned up at Kurt, his amber eyes sparking with unspoken promises. “I can’t let you o right now, it’s the strangest thing.” He teased. Then Blaine pulled Kurt back into a kiss and rolled him over until Kurt was beneath him. He kissed Kurt hard then, harder than he meant to. Kurt was so perfect in every way and he’d been denied these kisses and touches for so long it was like water to a to a man dying of thirst. He had to have more. 

Blaine tugged Kurt’s nightshirt over his head exposing the smooth expanse of pale skin beneath, This he peppered with kisses, taking a moment to nibble against Kurt’s side, his navel, his hip bone. All of Kurt was here, and Blaine had no intention of seeing the outside world any time soon. Taking things slow could just be damned!

Kurt’s breath caught in his throat as Blain kissed at his bare torso. “Blaine….” he moaned quietly. His head was racing and all he wanted was Blaine. His head rested against the mattress, and he tried to keep his thoughts coherent, trying to be logical. Yes, he wanted Blaine. He had never wanted anyone more in his whole life. His brain raced back to when Blaine was giving him “sexy faces” lessons. He felt a shiver run down his spine as he thought of how much he had wanted Blaine than. The idea of wanting to be…intimate with someone use to embarrass Kurt. It was strange to feel those feelings towards someone, but there had always been so much tension between the two. Every time they’d touch, even if their hands accidentally brushed, Kurt felt shot guns of physical sensations run through his veins. No one had ever made him feel the way Blaine did. But on the other hand, Kurt knew how Blaine was about sex. He had seen him go through more men than Kurt could keep track of and Kurt was terrified of getting hurt. Kurt leaned down to kiss the top of Blaine’s head, breathing in his sweet shampoo. His brain was at war, logic versus emotions and he had no ide who’d win.

“Mmm, Kurt.” Blaine whispered as he kissed his way back up to Kurt’s neck. He nuzzled the sensitive skin there and nibbled Kurt’s earlobe. “I could do this all day.” Blaine sucked Kurt’s earlobe into his mouth gently as he chuckled. He could do it l day, and more. One trailed down Kurt’s arm to find his hand which was lifted, fingers entangled. The air around them seemed to warm and come alive in a way Blaine couldn’t explain but could only enjoy, it was certainly charged, like a summer storm about to break on the horizon. His lips found Kurt’s again and he pressed his body against Kurt in invitation. Right this moment may not be the best time for every pleasure, but Blaine couldn’t deny his need for just a little bit more. It was like air, like a drug, like a need so far beyond his control, he hoped Kurt would understand. This wasn’t even in the same realm as the sort of meaningless lust he’d felt before. His heart constricted at the thought that he might be rushing Kurt and causing Kurt to think all he wanted was a quick wake up fuck when that was the furthest thing from the truth. Blaine rolled to his side and pulled Kurt into his arms. “You are so beautiful.” He said, trying to break the spell of unspeakable yearning that was radiating through his body.

The moment Blaine’s body was molded into Kurt’s, his heart raced, swooping up and down like on a roller coaster. “Blaine,” he whispered, his lips vibrating against Blaine’s skin. He forgot the simple beauty of Blaine’s skin. There was such an intense connection between the two. Just a simple touch felt like a shock of lightening. Clothing felt like too much of a border between the two. He could feel Blaine’s hesitation and let the moment go. The desire was too much, and to be honest, it scared Kurt. He pulled away, placing space between the two. He tried to breathe normal, and turn away. He was embarrassed by how much Blaine being so close affected him. Think Kurt. Think…Don’t let him go. Kurt swallowed and turned back to Blaine, he leaned forward softly, kissing Blaine’s check. “I should go make breakfast,” he said, softly running his fingers through Blaine’s tangled curls. He leaned forward momentarily, his lips just barely brushing Blaine’s neck. He inhaled a soft breath and pulled away. “I’ll..I’ll go make you those mixed berry muffins you like,” he said softly, remembering the time he had made them when he was drunken. They had ended up baking naked….Kurt looked away at the thought. He grabbed his t-shirt, swearing mentally to himself as the logical side of his brain took over. The tension was too much.

Blaine expected t keep rolling around with Kurt in the sheets and shirking all human duties including eating and brushing teeth, not to mention school and work. They had earned the right to be lazy with one another. And Blaine felt it all through him, humming, begging for the touch of Kurt’s hand and the feel of Kurt sighing beneath him. Kurt was pulling back though, slipping out of Blaine’s arms and mumbling about breakfast gain. How had they come back to that? Blaine’s first instinct was to grab Kurt and cover him in kisses and tell him he had no business ringing their time together with mundane activities, but his brain kicked into gear as he watched Kurt’s eyes. This was something he had seen before, and it was very typically young Kurt. He hadn’t expected it from Kurt now, but then he had never been Kurt’s lover so he wasn’t really sure what was normal. He did know that he was not going to force Kurt into uncomfortable places. They had no need to rush, not with all the time in the world. So, even though it just about killed Blaine to do so, he smiled at Kurt and let him go. “Kurt, my sweet, if it’s breakfast you want, it’s breakfast we’ll have.” With that he rolled to the other side and sat up to climb out of bed. “Muffins do kind of sound fantastic.” He added. Blaine was going to need to keep an eye out for Kurt in their early relationship, but for right now he was going to go make muffins. 

Kurt tidied up as he made his way slowly to the kitchen. He took his time, digesting his emotions that were muddling through him all at once. The mundane task of casually picking up a sock or a scrap piece of fabric from one of his recently untouched outfits gave Kurt something to do. More so, house chores had basically been thrown out the window the moment Blaine moved in. The moment Kurt and Blaine became Kurt and Blaine. Kurt use to think that once he had found the one, he’d spend hours upon hours tidying their apartment, keeping it perfect and orderly. But Kurt was now learning that wasn’t how life was. Kurt and Blaine weren’t an orderly couple. They had come to be in such a messy way, but it still fell together perfectly. Perhaps, when Kurt really found the one, trivial things like alphabetizing their record collection wouldn’t matter as much as making breakfast together. Kurt nervously reached out to take Blaine’s hand. So much of him wanted to skip breakfast and rush back under the sheets. He needed Blaine’s friction and he needed their bodies to form as one. That thought raised goose bumps up his arms and he pushed it down. Once in the kitchen, Kurt began to climb around for ingredients. He hopped onto the counter so he could reach the high cabinets and pulled out the proper ingredients. He turned on he radio and ET came on. Shit, Kurt thought to himself. The combination of the close proximity to Blaine plus the song made baking seem so much more difficult.

Blaine left the bed and decided on a shower, thinking to give Kurt a little space if that’s what he needed. He turned the water on warm at first and then decided maybe cooler would be more effective all things considered. He stripped out of his sweat pants and slipped under the water with a shiver. Immediately he was awake. Unfortunately the cold was having the opposite effect from what he was expecting. With his blood now racing, and the fact that he was hyper aware now of every inch of his skin, Blaine was having a difficult time focusing on finding the soap. He was frustrated at his body, it was a traitor. Blaine grabbed up the shampoo and lathered up his hair, scrubbing hard, digging in with his nails, but still all he could think of was how he wanted to be back in that bed with Kurt. Then as if to add insult to injury, Blaine could hear a familiar song float through.

I got a dirty mind  
I got filthy ways

Damn that Katy Perry.

The beat hit Blaine in just the right way, or the wrong way, depending. He was immediately fighting the image of Kurt slipping into the shower with him, fully clothes, touching him, kissing him. Blaine leaned back against the cool tiles and gave himself over to the need that had been building all morning. By the end of the song Blaine was back to finding soap, though he didn’t feel in the least bit sated. In fact, he wondered if he would ever feel sated around Kurt. He couldn’t imagine not feeling this hunger claw at his insides every time he thought of Kurt. Soon the smell of baking muffins drew Blaine from his reverie in the bathroom and he joined Kurt in the kitchen with a little grin playing across his mouth.


	8. I'm On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast's not ready yet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 Song: I'm on Fire by Bat for Lashes

The precise concentration to pour a good amount of batter into muffin cups proved to be quite difficult as Kurt heard the water running in the room next door. He tried to keep his mind on the batter, measuring and pouring. But all he wanted was skin, fast touch…The overwhelming animalistic need that was taking over Kurt was scaring the hell out of him. “Stop it…” he whispered to himself. They had agreed to go slow. Slow. Slow was not a speed Kurt felt that he could go. Finally, the muffins were in the oven and Kurt had nothing to focus on. He decided to do some dishes, hoping the scrubbing bubbles would help. No such effect. The soap just made him think of running into the shower, throwing back the curtains and seductively asking Blaine if he needed to be scrubbed down. Kurt tired to snap out of it, but the moment the thought was in, it wouldn’t come back out. Kurt turned as he saw footsteps and saw Blaine walking into the kitchen. He blushed as he saw the little grin playing on his face. Oh god….Kurt thought, trying to take deep breaths to stay calm. But his checks were unmistakably red. He turned clumsily to the oven and tried to get the muffins out of the oven. Blaine, standing inches away, dripping wet, was not helping. At. All. Once the muffins were on top of the stove top, waiting to cool, Kurt removed his oven mitt, and held onto the countertop, still turned from Blaine. “Blaine…” he whispered, his voice struggling to sound even.

Blaine was chagrinned to find Kurt taking fresh muffins out of the oven. He looked so adorable and domestic. Blaine was a big believer in sharing household duties, but he could see the appeal of finding that your lover could bake, and he could see it very clearly right now. Was Kurt blushing, oh my god he was… Kurt was fumbling getting the muffins out of the oven and Blaine stepped closer. Except now Kurt wasn’t turning around. When Kurt whispered his name, Blaine felt that all bets ought to be off. No one could be that adorable, that red faced, while baking, and whispering your name like they need you right this instant and not need a sound kissing, and then some. Blaine did his best to remain calm. He did not grab Kurt, whirl him around, and ravage him like he wanted to; for all of about three seconds. Then he stepped forward, pulled Kurt around to face him, and kissed him roughly against the edge of the counter which was now cushioned by one of Blaine’s hands. 

Thoughts were no longer probable, that part of him that was warning him about giving in so easily, that part that told him if he crossed that line anymore, deepening the physical connection between he and Blaine, he might as well tip his hat and fall forward, down the rabbit hole, with nothing but Blaine to fall down to. All logic was lost however, as Blaine’s kiss expressed the need he felt, and echoed the need Kurt felt as well. Blaine’s hands were on both sides of Kurt’s, keeping him still, preventing if he had had a flight response, he couldn’t run away. And Kurt was thankful for this. He needed Blaine, he needed more physically from Blaine and he needed it now. But he needed assurance that it’d be ok, that he wouldn’t break away after. Blaine’s arms on either side were enough for him. He easily gave in, kissing Blaine back with so much need, it overwhelmed the both of them. His hands gently were migrating to Blaine’s bare chest, playing with the contours of his torso.

Blaine was worried about Kurt’s back against the edge of the counter so he moved in and lifted Kurt onto the counter top and proceeded to go right back to kissing him. Blaine held Kurt’s face between his hands, firmly, but carefully, as though he held something indescribably precious. Then, when he had thoroughly explored Kurt’s mouth, he trailed to his ear and sucked on his earlobe. “Kurt.” He whispered. “Stop me if you want to, at any point.” Blaine meant that too. It would never be too late; Blaine would always stop, no matter what because he loved Kurt. He always had. Then he began pulling off Kurt’s top once more and trailed feather light kisses across the expanse of Kurt’s chest. He tasted with his tongue and nipped with his teeth as he tailed ever lower. Then he began to undo Kurt’s pants. Each motion was controlled, as best it could be, each motion was gentle, and filled with the love Blaine had for Kurt. .

Kurt rested his head gently against the upper cabinets, the cabinets of their house. The house that they shared. But sharing the house wasn’t enough. Being able to wake up together, make breakfast, be in each other’s lives forever and always, it was everything Kurt had always wanted. But right now, sharing living space wasn’t enough. Kurt wanted to share everything. He kept his fingers looped around the belt loops of Blaine’s pants, keeping his hips in close to Kurt. He lifted his hips off slightly off the counter, easy the access for Blaine. “Blaine…” he murmured, his eyes closing, as his head leaned forward, his lips resting against Blaine’s neck. His heart raced like an 808 drum, and he had to close his eyes, in order to try and control his racing nerves. “I’m ok with this. All of this,” he whispered, his fingers migrating towards the hem of Blaine’s towel.

Blaine was glad Kurt was doing okay. He wasn’t about to push Kurt into anything, and Blaine wanted everything they did together to be filled with joy, even if they were nervous; and Blaine sort of was nervous. He slid Kurt’s pants down and off leaving him sitting there in his blue Calvin Klein briefs. For just a moment, Blaine had to stare. He’s seen Kurt plenty more undressed, but there was just something about his designer underwear habit that always left Blaine a little breathless. He gave Kurt a soft kiss to the side of his mouth before his lips trailed lower and lower still, this time he didn’t stop. One hand found Kurt’s and he tangled their fingers together, the other hand tugged down the gorgeous blue briefs and Blaine proceeded to worship Kurt with his mouth, slowly and thoroughly. 

Kurt’s breath caught in his throat, a soft moan hummed through his lips, as his fingers reached down towards to top of Blaine’s head. He ran his fingers through Blaine’s curls as he kissed lower down Kurt. “Blaineeee..” he moaned again, his whole body vibrating from the sensations Blaine was causing through his skin. This whole experience, it had been so prolonged, so long past overdue. Kurt remembered the first time he had felt….attracted to Blaine, in more than just an emotional way, and much deeper than a physical way. That day he and Blaine had talked of sex, how Kurt was all jittery, saying that he liked Broadway musicals, loving merely the brush of fingertips. But that wasn’t exactly true. All he really wanted to do was throw Blaine against his bed…Shut up brain, he thought to himself as he felt a blush escape his checks, his eyes looking down at Blaine. Bad idea. That just increased his…problem area. He lightly tugged on Blaine’s curls.

With Kurt sighing his name and moaning like that Blaine felt as though his little moment in the shower had never happened. He needed Kurt and he needed him right now. All of this, the way Kurt tasted, the way he sounded, it was so much better than what Blaine had imagined all these years. He needed more. Though he wasn’t about to let their first time ever take place on the kitchen counter. Blaine wasn’t entirely convinced that he shouldn’t make certain their first time didn’t happen right now at all. He just wanted to please Kurt first, and then he could worry about all the other little things like romancing the man he loved, later. Blaine was thinking entirely too much he realized, and he added in his hand so he could work faster at and with much more focus on the here and now. He hummed against Kurt’s skin and decided that this was the best thing in the world. If he could do this today then he would be happy. More could always wait.

At the addition of Blaine’s hand, Kurt’s hips responded on their own, arching their way up closer to meet Blaine. He kept one hand clenched tight onto the counter behind him, praying to gaga that his knees wouldn’t give up on him now. “Blaine….” he moaned again, this time less quiet, more needy, more animalistic. He had been in this situation plenty of times, sure. But his response had never been this, this much. He needed Blaine more than anything. An intense shiver ran through his spine, making every part of his body, especially the ones with any contact from Blaine more alive than before.

Blaine used every trick he’d learned over the years to draw those delicious sounds from Kurt’s throat. He was suddenly grateful to be dressed only in a towel as pants would have been incredibly uncomfortable at this point. Blaine squeezed with his hand just so and maneuvered with his tongue just right, hoping to hear that amazing voice of Kurt’s drift ever higher and ever louder. He would never get enough of this, he thought, never.

“Bl..a…in…eeee….” he moaned out, his words, letters, syllables, nothing was forming into accurate words anymore. His hips bucked more, as he felt himself nearing his highest point. This was honestly like nothing he had ever experienced. It wasn’t everything, they weren’t going all the way, and Kurt was fine. Honestly, with how much this was effecting, he didn’t know if he could physically handle anything more with Blaine. The thought alone made him shiver in too much pleasure. He clutched tightly to the counter once more, willing himself to gain control. “Blaine..” he said, again, his tone more of a warning. He wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. “Fuck,” he groaned, biting his lip.  
Blaine shivered with his own pleasure as he went as far as he could to bring Kurt to completion. His whole body seemed to tense with anticipation. He let his hands fall to Kurt’s thighs and concentrated on only using his mouth. He hummed his joy against Kurt’s skin. The whole thing was fantastic. How many times had he wanted Kurt, needed him, an now to have him, even like this, it was a little overwhelming. But only in the best of ways. 

“Baby….” he moaned out, his hands clenching tighter to the counter behind him. His back arched up once more, his knees collapsing into Blaine. “Fuck, Blaine,” he said, biting down on the inside of his check, his head throwing back. He was reaching his peak now. He felt himself tighten once more, before going all the way, clenching even tighter onto the counter behind him.

Afterwards, Blaine led Kurt to the shower and left him there getting cleaned up while he set the table for breakfast. He was so content and so happy that he almost didn’t know what to do with himself. Blaine snuck a muffin while Kurt was still getting ready and he put on a pot of coffee. This was how he hoped life with Kurt could be always. Just happy, just about perfect. 

Kurt leaned against the shower tile, letting the warm water rush over him. The little droplets of water hit his skin, his still vibrating skin. He blushed as he thought of Blaine, of himself, of him and Blaine. He knew he shouldn’t feel any different; it wasn’t his first time in any sense of the word. He and Sam had gone further he and…other people had gone further, but the thought of Blaine…the thought of what they did, nothing made his hole nervous system feel more alive. He tried to focus on his breathing, trying to not overanalyze it too much. That was for another day. Another day he could worry about consequences, today, he just wanted to bathe in the perfection that was them. He turned off the water, and reached out to grab a towel. A soft smile escaped his lips as he noticed the towel was Blaine’s, one of the few towels he had brought of his own. He inhaled the clear scent that was Blaine, and wrapped himself in the terry fabric. This is how it should always be. The sharing, the living together, the no drama, the utter bliss. Kurt would never have believed anyone had they told him that he’d soon be this happy this content with anything, especially Blaine. He had always needed Blaine, and here he was. He quickly changed and made his way out to the kitchen that smelled of breakfast. “Hmmm..” he hummed, “that British chef? Yeah you’re giving him a run for his money right now,” he teased.


	9. All I Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's history isn't all in the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 Song: All I Need by Air

The next day was class, and this time Blaine was determined to get back out into the world. He felt great, better than he had in years, but he and Kurt were going to lose their scholarships if they didn’t show for class at some point and turn in some assignments. Blaine even got up early and made omelets for Kurt and served him breakfast in bed. They rode to class together, and though the had differing schedules, Blaine made Kurt promise to meet up for lunch.

After his second and last class of the day, Blaine ran into someone from his past. Jonathan was a drug dealer, Blaine’s contact as a matter of fact, and someone he had known ever since coming to New York. He waved Blaine over in the on the street. “Hey.” He said. “You didn’t text me this past weekend.” Blaine could feel his insides twisting. He stepped closer to Jonathan and dropped his voice.

“You know, I haven’t exactly run out yet. I’ll text when I need more.” He said. “Really, because I hear you haven’t been seen around anywhere, just thought I would check in on one of my investments.” Jonathan said slyly. The rest of the conversation was mainly Blaine trying to side step Jonathan, and eventually he was left alone leaning against the building feeling worked over and miserable. 

Blaine had left his cell phone with Kurt on accident. Kurt laughed as he noticed the phone still in the cab when Blaine climbed out first. He smiled, it was so very Blaine forgetting something, and so very Kurt of him to grab it and keep it for Blaine. All during chem lab (yes, still the chem nerd, Kurt decided to sign up for a chem lab even though it wasn’t a part of his major.

Half way through class he felt a phone vibrate. He checked his, hoping it was Blaine. He then remembered he had Blaine’s phone, and pulled the phone out of his right pocket. A guy named Alec showed up. He asked Blaine something about drugs. Kurt felt his stomach clench and everything he was learning about electrochem went over his head.

Blaine headed down to the cafe to meet Kurt. He was angry that the people from his past were not going to be so easily left behind. It was going to cause him problems, he could already tell. When he got to the cafe and Kurt wasn’t there, he tried to whip out his phone and text him, but Blaine’s phone wasn’t in his pocket. Great, no telling where that had gone. He went ahead and got a table for he and Kurt and ordered a soda while he waited. Blaine’s head pounded just a little and all he wanted was to see his boyfriend. His boyfriend! The idea was still so fresh and new. Kurt could definitely make him feel better.

Kurt was late, slightly on purpose, slightly on accident. He had gotten caught up with his TA after a lecture, but more so, he ha stalled with the TA, wanting to get his thoughts gathered before he went to go see Blaine. He knew that he shouldn’t jump to conclusions. That Blaine had been so good, so honest, and quite honestly, Kurt didn’t even know if he had sought Alec out, or if Alec sought him out. He shouldn’t have been mad. But he was. And Kurt could be a bitch when mad.

Finally, he made his way into the cafe and ordered straight coffee. Kurt hated regular coffee unless he was angry. He took the steaming cup, and spotted Blaine. He slowly made his way over. “Hey,” he said, giving his check a kiss, needing things to be normal.

Blaine finally spotted Kurt at the counter getting a coffee. A plain cup, it seemed. His brow furrowed slightly at the thought that something might be wrong with Kurt. “Hey babe.” He said as Kurt kissed his cheek. “How was today?” He asked. He wasn’t going to ask what was wrong, and he wasn’t about to dive into the ins and outs of leaving your drug dealer. He just wanted to bask for a moment in Kurt’s presence. He’d missed him all day.

“It was fine. Just long with school and all.” He tried not to sound like he was giving short answers, even though he was. “I have your phone,” he said, handing over Blaine’s cell phone. “You left it in the cab, so I watched it for the day.” He took a long sip of the plain coffee. “You missed a text from Alec.” His voice was clearly short now.

Blaine took the phone from Kurt, and stared at the thing hard. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Alec was yet another connection of his. Blaine didn’t really need to see the text to know what it was likely about. “Kurt..” He began. Blaine pulled up the offending text message and ran through it quickly. Yep, just what he’d imagined. “Listen, Kurt, I haven’t reached all of these people and told them I’m not interested. You have to be careful with that, okay. But I will. I’m not interested.”

Kurt perked an eyebrow, his irritation rising. “I have to be careful? No, you have to be careful, Blaine. You could fucking die.” He bit the inside of his check as his anger dissolved into worry. “And how much have you done…of what?” He asked, his feet tapping in nerves. The emotions bubbling up were uncomfortable. He hated emotions. He’d learned to drown them out. He’d learned that from Blaine. Hence why when they had emotions, they both had emotions, it was much too much. Too much intensity. Kurt wanted to flee.

Blaine wasn’t really surprised by Kurt’s reaction. “No, I meant people in general have to be careful, I have to be careful. I don’t know where to begin.” Blaine admitted. Kurt was angry. His blue eyes were flashing at Blaine demanding answers. “It’s just mainly pot, but E too, and Special K. It’s…” Blaine sighed. “I will handle this Kurt. I promised you I would get my shit together and I have been.” He was suddenly worried that this was about to be a huge fight.

Kurt stirred a little straw around the rim of his plain coffee cup. “Blaine….” he let out a sigh. Part of him wanted to go on a rampage, lecturing Blaine on the health risks, how stupid he had been, how he was ruining his future. But Blaine knew all that. Blaine had come from a past where future seemed impossible. No one ever told him he could be who he wanted to be in the future. How was he to believe in a bright future? So he lived in the moment, destroying his condition, while trying to destroy the darkness inside him. Kurt let out a low sigh, as he met Blaine’s eyes, still awaiting an answer. “I know. I know you’re trying.” He said finally, reaching over to take his hand. He sighed again, and chewed the inside of his check. He needed to show Blaine he could have a future.

Blaine was holding his breath. There were so many little things he never anticipated when it came to walking away from his old life. Drug dealers aside, he had standing dates with men who came to town on business, he had a ton of contacts he needed to delete and block. The whole thing was ridiculous. The drug dealers were the most dangerous but they weren’t necessarily the hardest part. “Thanks Kurt.” Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand. They had been through so much together. Blaine was ready for happy times, but he knew he had business to take care of. “I’ll get the word out somehow, alright. Blaine Anderson is not into that anymore.” He tried his best to sound reassuring.

A thought ran through Kurt’s thought, one that probably wasn’t too logical. Blaine was giving up a lot to be with him. Yes, it was all things that were technically deemed bad, it was Blaine’s safety coat, what he did to shove things down. If Kurt was going to come in here and take things away, he needed to be sure Blaine wanted this. Kurt wanted him alive and acting right, but what if he liked his old lifestyle? More so, if Kurt was taking things away, would he be enough to provide more for Blaine. “Blaine…what do you want in life? Honestly.” He said, looking down at their joined hands.

For a moment Blaine was taken aback by this question. He actually hadn’t thought about it in so long. He wanted to make it to New York and then he had struggled so much and fought so hard since, he’d last sight of any dreams. “I want to be on the stage.” He said quietly. “I’ve always wanted that, but it sort of got lost.” He looked into Kurt’s eyes. “I need the drive back.” He admitted. He’d given up so much to bury his past that he’d forgotten about his future. And now. Blaine smiled. Now he had Kurt by his side. “One dream came true, and if it can, then the others can too.” He lifted Kurt’s hand and kissed it softly. 

Kurt blushed a bit at the compliment Blaine had paid him. “We’re going to get you onstage,” he said. His voice took on its bitch tone. Not his angry bitch tone, instead the tone that told anyone that stood in his way to get the out of the way. He was determined to see Blaine smile like he use to during Warbler rehearsal. In fact…Warblers. An idea popped in his head. Maybe Blaine needed some Warbler visitors….He left the idea alone to formulate later. For now, he remembered something. “Blaine, Pride. Pride is coming up. The LGBT center always puts on huge elaborate drama productions and musicals for Pride.”

Blaine thought about this for a minute. When Kurt sounded like that there was no stopping him. Actually Blaine didn’t think he would want to stop Kurt. He realized he was grinning. “I would love to get involved with the center for Pride. You know I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I get to spend Pride with you this year!” Blaine’s Pride celebrations usually consisted of being drunk and wasted and sleeping with as many men as he could from sun up to sundown. Now he had Kurt, and he could spend the day being proud of who he was and who he loved.


	10. Born This Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pride!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 Song: Born This Way by Lady Gaga

Blaine left home early to get to the LGBT Center to help set up for Pride. This was definitely a first for him. Volunteering for one and planning to stay relatively sober for another. Maybe one champagne toast to end the night, but that would be it for him. He was going to be with his boyfriend, well except for the parade. On the upside he was planning to actually watch the parade so he could see Kurt march with the center. Blaine was pretty excited for the whole thing. When he got to the center, Kurt was already working away. Blaine hugged him lightly and kissed his cheek. “Good morning my love, happy Pride!”

Kurt had been at the Center since three that morning. In fact, he’d been the first one there and had already drunk three ventis from Starbucks. Kurt loved Pride, it was his baby. He, being such an intense planner, was normally unofficially put in charge of the festival. He was making last minute phone calls and checking on the schedules when he heard Blaine come in. He had his reading glasses on, and spun around the see his boyfriend. “Hey you!” He said, standing up to give him a hug and a kiss. “Happy Pride to you too. Coffee?” He offered, handing him a venti Starbucks. “Ready to see the inner workings of Pride?” He teased.

“Coffee yes, inner workings, yes!” Five minutes ago it had been entirely too early to be awake, now standing here with Kurt he felt fully awake and happy. Kurt was absolutely adorable in his glasses looking all in charge of everything. Blaine had to resist the urge to grab him up in another hug and settled instead for grinning like a lovesick kid. “Put me to work boss.” He teased.

Kurt handed Blaine the coffee and pushed his reading glasses up over his ears. The glasses ruffled his ungelled hair. Gel was not something one uses at three am. “Stop being so adorable, he said with a laugh, looking at Blaine’s love sick face. “You’re making it difficult to work!” He skimmed his complete master list of things need to be done. “Let’s see….I called Lady Bunny to check with the drag queen line up. The police know to block the streets. Set up should be happening now downtown.” He skimmed the list closer. “Oh! The kids!” His face lit up. “Come with me. We’re suppose to do a little pre-pride sort of meeting for them. Want to come?”

Blaine scrunched up his face at Kurt and wrinkled his nose in protest. Then he listened intently as Kurt went through his list of things to check on. He was so organized; Blaine knew nothing would be left out. “Yeah of course.” He said as he followed Kurt to the pre-pride meeting. He’d never been on this side of Pride and he was looking forward to seeing Kurt in action.

Kurt was a different person at the Center. Normally, even though he was such a diva, he still had a slight touch of insecurity around him. It was from years and years of being a part of such a self destructive cycle with Blaine. But even when things were the worse, the Center was his home. He’d gotten so much praise about his professional, helpful manner. Pride was his time to shine. He ran around like a mad man, telling everyone what to do. But it all worked out. “They’re going to love you!” He said, nuzzling into Blaine’s neck. He took Blaine’s hand and led him to the first floor where the group room was. It was a medium size blue room and a group of about twenty teenagers were sitting around munching on provided bagels and sipping juice. “Hey everyone. I’d like you to meet Blaine.

Blaine gave a little wave as Kurt introduced him to the group. “Hey,” He said. He was slightly embarrassed but then he went and took a seat and was no longer the center of attention. Kurt was, and it was an amazing thing to watch. He could kick himself for missing this last year. Kurt was definitely in his element here. God he was hot when he was in a leadership position.

Kurt gave Blaine a small, secret smile as he went to go sit down. The teenagers eyed Blaine, trying to figure him out. One of the teenage boys leaned over to whisper something in Kurt’s ear. “Is he your boyfriend?” The boy asked. Kurt blushed and was unable to contain the cheesy grin that always took over his face when such a question was asked. “Yes, yes he is.” He replied to the boy, before turning to the rest of the room. “So, first Pride anyone?” He asked, scanning the room for hands. Several raised their hand and Kurt gave a supportive welcome speech. “Does anyone have any last minute concerns or anything they’d like to talk about? That can include you too, B.” Kurt added with a smile to Blaine.

Blaine sat and carefully listened to the welcome speech followed by important things to know, followed by the be safe portion of the talk, followed by the get everyone excited speech Kurt was perfect. He didn’t even use notes. Blaine would have at least needed some notes. Then again this wasn’t the first time Kurt had done this. When he singled Blaine out, Blaine gave him a cheeky grin. “No sir, I’m good.” He replied. Then he chuckled with a few of the teenagers around him. 

Kurt blushed as he caught Blaine’s admiring glances at him. He perked his eyebrows as Blaine said he was good and he and the teenagers laughed. “Awesome. Meeting adjourned, guys.” The teenagers smiled, looking significantly less nervous. Kurt beamed, of all the jobs he did, working with the kids was his favorite.

Blaine stood up and crossed to Kurt. He swallowed a lump that had formed. “You were so amazing just then.” He whispered. “I love you, and I am so proud of everything you do.” Then Blaine kissed Kurt’s cheek. “I can’t believe you’re mine, and I’m yours. I seriously can’t Kurt.” Blaine was grinning from ear to ear and he didn’t care who saw.

Kurt couldn’t help but blush as he wrapped his arms around Blaine’s waist. “Thank you,” he said shyly. He noticed a few of the teenagers dilly-dallying, smirking at the love struck Blaine and the blushing Kurt. “Ok ok, move along you guys,” Kurt teased waving them off with his hands. He rolled his eyes before turning back to Blaine. “I love you,” he whispered into Blaine’s ear once the teenagers were gone.

Blaine tucked Kurt’s arm into his and they walked back out of the room together. “Do you think you can spare some time before the parade?” He asked, a hopeful hitch in his voice. “Last year’s pride was less about pride and more about guilt. I want to see the other side.” He said honestly.

Kurt stopped as they reached the steps up to the main floor and turned to face Blaine. He nodded, his eyes showing familiar sadness and worry for Blaine. “Of course,” he said, placing a hand on his check. Why had he not forced Blaine to spend Pride with him? Probably because Kurt was just better that Blaine wasn’t his for Pride, that Blaine was always several, several other people’s. But now, this year was different.

Blaine led the way onto the street which was already filling with people decorating store fronts and lining up along the street with chairs or blankets to sit on. The parade wasn’t until later but the party was already beginning. Everyone was dressed festively, that much Blaine had remembered. In fact he loved it! In a nod to Kurt’s past they both wore “Likes Boys” shirts with rainbow beads around their necks. “I need a good spot so I can see my boyfriend in the parade.” He said a little loudly just because he could. The crowd nearest them chuckled and a drag queen blew the two of them a kiss. Blaine could tell it was going to be a great day. 

Kurt, being the diva that he was, loved the attention. He loved the buzzing energy of acceptance. He entwined his fingers through Blaine’s, needing that contact. For years, he’d wanted nothing more than to spend Pride with Blaine, and now, his wish came true. Kurt gave a wave and a wink to the drag queen, and waved to some people in the crowd that he knew. It had always been important to Kurt to know everyone in the LGBT community, and he loved being able to say hi to everyone. “Well, your boyfriend knows the perfect spot.” He said, kissing Blaine’s check and leading the way to a decorated spot under an umbrella from a table outside a coffee shop. The coffee shop was decorated with rainbow banners and even the umbrellas on all the tables were rainbow striped. “Shade and caffeine,” he said with a laugh.

Blaine walked happily with his arm linked in Kurt’s. Everywhere people were smiling, and lots of them seemed to know Kurt. Blaine wasn’t shocked really, Kurt was amazing ad he was really involved in the LGBT community, it was more that he felt a part of something being in Kurt’s arm. With Kurt he had an in. He fit here. The spot Kurt found for him was perfect, as was everything else and they sat for a bit at the table together watching the people pass by. “This is kind of awesome.” Blaine said with a grin. He’d ordered a coffee because he still needed more caffeine but other than that he was feeling great. 

Kurt smirked as Blaine ordered more coffee. “Addict,” he teased, leaning over to kiss his check. Once he pulled back, he grabbed a pair of sunglasses from his shoulder bag, placing them over his eyes. “God, it’s so beautiful outside,” he said, taking Blaine’s hand. “Think God is finally loving us homosexuals?” He teased, squeezing Blaine’s hand. He gave a laugh as he checked his watch, if he was going to not be late, he really needed to get going. But he really didn’t want to have to go. He didn’t want to leave Blaine’s side.

Blaine laughed but he agreed he was an addict. Better coffee than booze he thought. Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt. He knew he was going to have to give him up for the parade, but they would have the rest of the day and night to party together. Who knew what the day would hold for them. “You go on baby.” Blaine said suddenly. “Don’t be late, I’ll wait right here for you.” He grinned at Kurt and made a shooing motion with his hand. 

Kurt bit his lip, immediately regretting the addict comment, but let out a small sigh as he saw Blaine take it ok. “Stay here, ok?” Kurt said, and evil glint in his eye. With that, he kissed Blaine once more, before heading off to the start of the parade. He marched with several other members of the LGBT center, holding hands with one of his best friends, Mark. He waved to the crowd, everyone was so full of energy, but he was only looking for one face. Finally, the parade reached in front of the coffee house Blaine was at. Kurt smirked, whispered something to Mark, and rushed out into the crowd to grab Blaine by the hand.

Blaine sat enjoying watching people line up for the parade. There were people of every race and age and sex, and it was fantastic He felt like he was literally watching all the colors of the rainbow. Every type of person was represented here today. Finally the LGBT Center’s banner came closer and Blaine started looking for Kurt. When he saw him, Kurt was jogging out to meet him. Blaine grinned wildly as Kurt drug him into the parade. “I love you Kurt Hummel!” He shouted above the music.

Kurt beamed as their hands intertwined. “You didn’t really think I’d let you miss your first opportunity of being in the Parade did you?” He said, dragging Blaine backwards by the hands, leading the way up onto the rainbow colored float they had made. Kurt stood there, right in the center, holding Blaine’s hands. “I love you too,” he said, cupping his face with his check. He looked into Blaine’s eyes, and knew this was how it was meant to be. “I always have,” he whispered, before closing his eyes and kissing Blaine.

Blaine kissed Kurt with abandon, holding him tight, loving the freedom in this simple thing. The rest of the parade he stayed glued to Kurt’s side. He waved at the crowd, tossed colored beads, and kissed his boyfriend to the cheers of the onlookers. It was amazing. They had plans after the parade to go clubbing, but clubbing together was going to be different than ever before. Blaine was excited for this part of the day, just as excited as he had been for every other part. He knew deep down that he would never forget this first Pride with Kurt.

At the end of the Parade, the committee was supposed to meet for coffee and talk about what worked, what didn’t. But Jeff, one of Kurt’s close friends and also his boss, caught Kurt’s eye and waved him off. “You and Blaine go have fun. You’ve done more than enough already.” Kurt looked from Blaine back to Jeff. “Ok,” he said with a smile, “Thanks Jeff.” He said, taking Blaine’s hand. He giggled, skipping out of the crowd with Blaine’s hand in his. “So, is the infamous Blaine ready to go party?”

Blaine was definitely ready to go party with his boyfriend. “Hell yes!” He answered. He grabbed Kurt’s hand and helped him off the float. He was practically high with the energy of the day. It hummed through him and all he could think is that he wanted to be as close to Kurt as was humanly possibly on the dance floor. Blaine slowed through the crowds though just to enjoy being swept along with the throng, and then they entered the first club. It was so early in the day but the party was definitely on here. “Let’s dance, baby.” He said.

Kurt laughed, the music thumping through his system already. There were thousands of people, everyone dancing with everyone. They seemed to take center stage as they danced, Kurt taking Blaine by the hips, as they moved in time. Kurt almost could have said he missed this. There had been a time where they so often did this. But this time was real, it was some drunken loneliness. They were both choosing to be there, and it had to be best for both of them. Kurt leaned in to kiss Blaine, softly, before deepening the kiss.

Blaine pulled Kurt close and they danced just as he imagined it. The music thrilled though the crowd and they were back to back with other couples, both men and women and it was fantastic. Everyone was high on Pride, and Blaine was so happy he hadn’t ruined this day by being wasted. He grabbed hold of Kurt’s shirt, dancing with him like that and then Kurt leaned in and kissed him, so soft, and then, deeper. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, and kept his feet and hips going to the beat of the music, only just barely. His hands tangled up in Kurt’s hair and he just kissed Kurt for all he was worth with no regard for anyone around them.


	11. The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Pride surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 Song: The One by Elton John

Kurt’s feet were sore and he was way too sweaty to dance anymore. “Come with me,” he whispered into Blaine’s ear. He had planned it all out, a picnic after Pride. A picnic on the roof top. Everything was all set up and ready to go. Kissing Blaine on the check, he led him upstairs to the roof. “Stay right there and don’t peek,” he whispered in Blaine’s ear. He went to set up the picnic blanket, the pasta salad, the bread sticks, and some fruit salad, and a bottle of wine. “Shall we?” He whispered.

Blaine didn’t know what Kurt might be up to, but he was sure he would like it. The day had been amazing, everything he’d hoped it could be. Dancing was magical and he did all of it without needing a thing aside from Kurt. He let Kurt lead him upstairs and then he saw. A picnic. It was all set up and ready, just waiting for them. Blaine turned to Kurt and kissed him softly. “This is amazing, seriously.” Blaine walked forward taking it all in. It was the perfect ending to a fantastic day. 

Kurt leaned against the rim around the roof, watching Blaine go closer to the picnic, wondering to himself how he had gone all these years without him. How could he have possible let Blaine, let himself, let them, lose so much? He sighed, momentarily living yet again in the past. He remembered the times after exams that they had had picnics. Blaine would drive up to McKinely and Kurt would pack a basket and they’d just go. It never meant anything, but Kurt had wanted it to. He sighed, let it go, he mused to himself before going to join Blaine. He took a plate of pasta salad, looking at the stars. The here and now was perfect.

Blaine sat on the blanket that was spread out for the picnic and he noted all the little details that Kurt had included. There were candles that could be lit, there was a bottle of wine and beautiful glasses. The food was a little nostalgic because Blaine and Kurt had often shared picnics when they were younger, before things got complicated. He noticed Kurt leaning against the edge of the roof’s wall and he patted the space next to him so Kurt would join him. 

Kurt smiled as Blaine invited him over. He walked slowly to Blaine’s side, and took a seat. “Wine?” He asked, unscrewing the cork and pouring two glasses. Kurt and Blaine had sent several a times laughing at couples that were so…coupley, spending Pride with one person instead of millions. It wasn’t who they really were. But it was who Blaine came because of circumstances, and who Kurt become because of Blaine. But here they were, quite literally the perfect couple. “Who would have thought,” he mused.

I know what you mean.” Blaine said as though he could read Kurt’s thoughts. They were alone, spending the last few hours of Pride in quiet reflection together. “I just have no desire to see anyone else tonight.” Blaine scooted closer to Kurt and dug into the fruit salad. He sipped his wine and looked at Kurt in the moonlight. God he was beautiful. “Thank you for today, Kurt. You just…you have no idea how amazing all of this has been for me. I thought there was no other way to celebrate other than…well you know.” He leaned over and kissed Kurt’s cheek. “This was so much better” 

Kurt thought of the several years of Blaine drinking himself into oblivion. How Kurt would have to leave whatever he was doing early to go get him, go take care of him. Kurt sighed, so much had changed. He leaned his head onto Blaine’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for letting go of all that shit.” He said gently squeezing Blaine’s hand. “I know it must be hard. But I am really so, so proud and honored to be with you. Especially today.”

Blaine leaned his head atop Kurt’s and sighed contentedly. “It is hard, sometimes, but then we have these moments when everything just seems right. It makes it easier for me.” He ran his thumb over the back of Kurt’s hand. “You’re worth it Kurt. You make me want to be better, for you, and for me.” 

Kurt smiled, and kissed Blaine’s check, closing his eyes softly. “You are a better person, so much, for letting go of all of that. You’re so incredibly strong, Blaine.” He whispered into his ear.

Blaine turned his head and kissed Kurt, softly, slowly. He wanted to tall Kurt through this kiss everything he meant to Blaine, and had for years. Now they were finally together and Blaine cherished each moment, each first, like today. Their first pride together. He pulled Kurt into his arms and just held on to him, never wanting to let go. His fingers traced the outlines of Kurt’s face, as though memorizing the face he already knew so well. His lips trembled against Kurt’s slightly, with the overwhelming feeling that came bubbling to the surface. Love was such a simple word, too simple for what he felt. 

Kurt felt him whole self feel content, everything feeling right. It was like finding the last piece after being unable to find it forever. Finally, the piece was found, that one little layer that interrupted what could have been between Kurt and Blaine. Finally, it was found, it was placed in the gaping hole, and let them be. Kurt ran a hand across Blaine’s check softly before pulling away. “I want to be with you forever.” He whispered.

Blaine had to swallow to find his voice. He’d imagined from time to time what it would be like to have Kurt like this, in his life, in his arms. It was never this good. He looked into Kurt’s eyes, his hand automatically rising to cradle Kurt’s cheek and to draw him back until they were so close their lips were almost touching. “I want to be with you, forever, Kurt Hummel.” Then he pulled Kurt into an embrace and just held him because he had to. He needed to.

“Well, I’m glad we agree on it,” he whispered into Blaine’s ear. He rested his forehead into Blaine’s chest, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s waist. He would never be able to let go, he would never be able to be okay again out of Blaine’s arms. This was where he belonged.  
Blaine pulled Kurt up into a kiss, and this time it was needy and passionate. At first his hands held to either side of Kurt’s face, gently, but soon he was wrapping Kurt Back up in his arms, bringing them as close together as they could be in this awkward sitting position. He nibbled on Kurt’s bottom lip and then sucked on it to soothe any pain he might have caused in his haste. Then he open Kurt’s mouth with his tongue and slid his own along Kurt’s. He moaned into the kiss, because he this was the best they’d shared all day. They finally alone, they were together and they played to stay like this always. 

Kurt’s lips parted easily meeting Blaine’s tongue. He leaned forward, causing Blaine to lean back against the blanket. Kurt kept himself propped up on his hands, pushing against the ground. He deepened the kiss, letting his lips run down to Blaine’s neck. He kept his lips pressed against Blaine’s skin, hoping to stifle the moan growing in his throat.

Blaine leaned back, unable to keep himself upright as Kurt kissed him with such abandon. Blaine’s hand helplessly flew to Kurt’s hair and tangled there holding on because Kurt was suddenly the only reality he knew. When Kurt hit a particularly sensitive spot on his neck, Blaine couldn’t help but gasp. He wanted Kurt closer, needed him closer, this was all so much and so right. Blaine lay back all the way pulling Kurt along with him and his hands roamed Kurt’s back.

Kurt climbed atop of Blaine, their bodies molding together, as Kurt’s legs entwined with Blaine’s. He nipped at Blaine’s neck gently, but firm enough to leave a mark on his neck. His lips traveling back up to Blaine’s neck, he kissed him deeply, a low moan escaping his lips as Blaine’s hands traveled around his back.  
Blaine grasped Kurt’s thighs pulling them forward so that Kurt was straddling him. Then he returned the kiss that Kurt was giving, slow and deep. There was no rush here, no need to hurry despite the fact that Blaine’s body completely disagreed. He wanted Kurt, which would be obvious at this point, but more than that he wanted this time to last. To kiss and hold each other and love each other the way Blaine had always imagined.

Kurt let out a little gasp in surprise, but pleasure as Blaine dug at his thighs, bringing him closer and more on top of him. He closed his eyes, kissing Blaine, tightening his grasp around Blaine’s sides. He needed to stay here forever.

Blaine began working to get Kurt’s shirt off. He didn’t break the kiss but he reached between them to to lift Kurt’s t-shirt over his head and only let Kurt’s mouth go at the last second. Then he leaned up and did the same with his own shirt. Blaine pulled Kurt back down and kissed him slowly once more. The kiss was hot, wet, and deep. He rocked up against Kurt, finding the friction they could both enjoy. Each movement was languid, each movement was sensuous. 

Kurt grounded down, meeting Blaine at the perfect medium, his hands running down Blaine’s chest. His tongue explored the inside crevices of Blaine’s, and he could feel himself tighten, before he nervously pulled away. “Blaine…” he whispered.

That stopped Blaine. He had t be sure everything that happened did so because they both wanted it, and right now he really wanted Kurt. They had waited, but Blaine would wait as long as it took for Kurt to be comfortable. They had so much between them, so many years of bad blood, and repressed emotions, it made sense to Blaine for Kurt to be hesitant. His arms soothed up and down Kurt’s back. “Baby?” He asked softly.

Kurt smiled softly, his eyes fluttering closed. He leaned forward softly kissing Blaine, before moving away again. “I want to do this,” he finally said, assuring Blaine. It was true, his heart was pumping and he wanted nothing more than Blaine.

Blaine looked into Kurt’s blue eyes, eyes that were so honest it made Blaine ache inside. “I want you, Kurt, I love you.” He said it not because he felt he had to but because it was so natural it just came out. He pulled Kurt down for one quick kiss and then he was whispering in Kurt’s ear. “Maybe we should go inside?”

Kurt nodded, his nervous, but excited nerves were pumping. He pushed himself off of Blaine, offering his hand, before pulling Blaine to his feet. “Okay,” he said, looping his arm around Blaine’s waist, before taking him inside.

Once inside, Blaine pulled Kurt toward the bedroom. He was smiling at Kurt, and trying not to laugh, but he was so damn happy. He pulled Kurt into a hug and ten kissed him against the wall outside the bedroom. Finally he let Kurt up and pulled him by the belt loops toward the bed. He lightly pushed him down on the bed and crawled on top of him and kissed him. Then he kissed his way down his jaw down his chest, and finally he was tugging off Kurt’s jeans and nibbling at the flesh above his hip bones.   
Kurt smirked, falling backwards easily onto the bed, letting Blaine climb on top of him. He pulled him down to meet him, kissing him deeply. He lifted his hips to allow his jeans to be removed more easy. “Blaine…” he moaned, his finger trailing down Blaine’s back. He felt a shiver run through his spine. A low hum built in his throat. His eyes closed in pleasure.

Blaine’s hands ran up and down Kurt’s sides and then he was pulling off his own jeans, and hooking his fingers into Kurt’s underwear, pulling them down and off slowly. He did the same with his own and then he lay there staring down at Kurt, loving him, and enjoying the feel of their bodies together just like this. Slowly he trailed one finger down Kurt’s chest and abdomen. He leaned down and whispered to Kurt, “Lube, condoms?”

Kurt felt his checks blushed, not from being with Blaine but just the question. He knew he shouldn’t be, but something about being with Blaine reminded him of the first time they had this conversation so many years ago. Kurt nodded nervously, and walked over to a far drawer, pulling out the needed items. He returned to the bed, before kissing Blaine once more. “Okay,” he whispered.  
Blaine kissed Kurt softly, rolling them to their sides. The lube and condoms were placed just within reach, but Blaine was still in no hurry. He was in love, and when they had sex it wouldn’t be a quick fuck because their hormones got the best of them, it would be making love. For the first time together.

Kurt ran his hand down Blaine’s side, both of their skin prickled with goose bumps. He hummed gently into the kiss, deepening the contact. He rolled slightly, letting his hips move closer to Blaine’s, needing the closeness.  
Blaine threw a leg over Kurt’s hip and pulled him until they were flush against each other, rubbing against each other. They were already hard and the friction felt amazing. Blaine was kissing Kurt’s neck and he got the lube back in his hand and dribbled a small amount on his fingers. Then he slid his hand around behind Kurt and pressed one finger, sliding it between Kurt’s perfect ass, just back and forth, slowly.

Kurt moaned at the sudden contact, his hips arching, increasing the feeling of Blaine’s fingers. “Fuck,” he whispered, biting his lip. He tilted his head, catching Blaine’s lips again. He needed his taste on his lips. He hummed in delight at the feeling and the movements.  
Blaine slid his finger slowly onto the sensitive flesh around Kurt’s entrance, circling it, pressing here and then there, never fast, never hard. He wanted Kurt to come apart in his arms, he wanted to take him apart and then put him slowly back together. As their cocks slid together again, Blaine switched their legs, pulling Kurt’s on top of him so he could slide his finger easily inside Kurt.

Shivering in delight, Kurt moaned from the contact, keeping his lips pressed against Blaine’s. He rocked back, grounding in towards Blaine’s contact, touching, here, there, everywhere.

Blaine added another finger and kissed over Kurt’s neck, sucking and nipping gently. He cradled Kurt to him, moving his fingers gently, crooking them just so then dragging them almost all of the way out. Finally he rolled Kurt back until he was on top and his fingers slid out so he could reach for the condom. 

Kurt tilted his chin back so he could watch Blaine. He couldn’t help but examine his beautiful frame, especially the tiny trail of hair from his belly button. He smiled, staying on his stomach.

Blaine ran his hand down Kurt’s back softly before entering him. He did so slowly, allowing Kurt plenty of time to adjust. Them once he felt Kurt relax he pushed in further, so slow it made his heart contract in his chest. When he thought it was safe to move, he did so, again slowly, but he also pulled Kurt up to a kneeling position so he could wrap both his arms around his chest, holding him close, kissing him deeply. Then he set the rhythm, slow and deep. He wanted to move faster, but this was something he felt he’d waited for forever and he wasn’t going to rush a second of it.

Kurt felt his hips raise into Blaine, grounding back into him. He let out a slow moan as Blaine set a rhythm, and kissed him back deeply. He tilted his head as Blaine wrapped his arms around him. “It’s okay,” he whispered, “you don’t have to go easy on me.” He whispered, hoping Blaine didn’t feel like he had to be on guard. He knew Blaine had been with several guys. He just wanted to be right for him.

“I know, I just, want this to last as long as it can. I love you.” Blaine whispered into Kurt’s ear. Then he sped up just a tiny bit. God Kurt felt amazing, so much better than Blaine could have imagined. Blaine bent to kiss the back of Kurt’s neck, to kiss a trail up to his ear again. His arms held tight and his thighs supported Kurt as they moved together. 

Kurt felt a shiver run down his spine as Blaine said he loved him, as Blaine kissed him. This wasn’t like any of the times Kurt had mindlessly gotten drunk and had sex that he couldn’t even remember. This was love. He moved into Blaine, feeling connected to him through their matching movements. “Oh,” he moaned, “I love youuu…” he moaned out.

Blaine wanted it to last, god did he ever, but moving in and out of Kurt like this was almost more than he could take. “Oh god.” He whispered. He sped up, he couldn’t help it. The room was filled with the soft sound of bodies slapping against one another. Blaine’s hands roamed Kurt’s chest and hips, and he kept his lips pressed to Kurt’s body, to his neck, to his lips. Finally when he couldn’t hold off any more he reached around and took Kurt’s cock in hand, pumping it in time to the rhythm of their bodies. 

Kurt let out some form of a sound as Blaine wrapped around to touch at his harden cock. “Blaine,” he moaned out, louder this time. He clenched at the normally perfectly ironed sheets, causing wrinkles up and down the fabric. He was much too close to coming.

“Kurt, ah, fuck.” Blaine was losing control now, but he wanted Kurt to cum first. He sped up his hand and tightened his hold just a little. He moved slower from behind, his hand and body in contradiction. “Baby, you’re amazing.” He stuttered into Kurt’s ear. He was so close now. Come on baby. He thought. 

The contradiction of Blaine moving fast and Blaine moving slow was pushing him over the edge. “Fuck….” he moaned out, before he felt his hips perk, coming in Blaine’s hand, and grounding his hips back into Blaine, his head resting backwards. His breathing was quickened.

The feeling of Kurt coming in his hand pushed Blaine over the edge. He came in stuttering motions, hard and fast, clinging to Kurt with all his strength. He moved is legs slowly and pulled from Kurt so they could collapse, and he tossed his condom before he pulled Kurt close on the bed. “My god, I am so in love with you.” He said. He felt buzzed all over, and he kissed Kurt sloppily.

Kurt lay on the mattress, his chest raising and falling in a quick tempo as Blaine rolled away to throw out the used condom. His heart raced at the realization that that was the first time he had ever cum for another man. He’d always been the giver, or the bottom, but never came. He rested his head on Blaine’s bare chest when Blaine pulled him close. “I love you too…” he whispered, thinking of what they had just done.


	12. Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several months in the future, an epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12 Song: Arms by Christina Perri

“Hi, my name’s Blaine and I am an alcoholic.” Blaine’s eyes skittered around the little circle. Some faces seemed warm and open, others closed, some even looked angry.

“Hi Blaine.” The group replied. He got a few smiles and returned them as best he could before he began.

I’ve been sober for six months, but before that I drank almost every day for years. I think it started when I moved out here as part of some latent teenage rebellion. I was out of my father’s grasp and he couldn’t touch me anymore or control me. But then it just got worse. I didn’t just drink at the club with my friends for fun. I drank so I wouldn’t have to feel. I drank when I felt any sort of sadness or anger or loneliness, and I started to feel that way almost all of the time. New York wasn’t what I had hoped it would be and I was struggling in school, in work, and I had no one to come home to. So I punished myself and everyone around me. Drinking brought down my grades, it lost me several jobs, and it put strains on all of my friendships. It killed my dreams and nearly lost me everything.” Blaine took a shuddering breath. There was more to say, so much more, but this was the first time he’d spoken before the group beyond telling his name. It was somehow nerve wracking and freeing all at once.

“Now my grades are up, I have a steady job at a local theater playing the piano, and next week I have a gig singing. My dreams are bright again and I’m getting to live them every day. Better than all of that though, I have someone special to share it with.” Blaine felt his throat catch over the last sentence so he just smiled awkwardly and sat down. 

The leader thanked him and motioned for the next person and the meeting continued on as per usual. Blaine received his six months sobriety token and then he was back out in the city with the winter wind tugging at his coat and scarf. He couldn’t wait to get home. The new year had brought with it so many wonderful things and it was still only January. Blaine woke up each day thankful for where he was and who he was with. It really was going to be a fantastic year.

He walked into the loft, toed off his shoes, hung up his coat and scarf and tossed his keys into the little wooden bowl by the door. The sounds of an old Christina Perri song pulled him forward around the half wall and into the open space. There he found Kurt pulling out cartons of Chinese food and laying them across the coffee table. Blaine smiled and closed the space between them pulling Kurt into a tight hug.

“Sooo?” Kurt grinned down at him and gave him a squeeze.

“So what?” Blaine answered cheekily. He knew exactly what Kurt was asking.

“So, let me see it already.” Kurt said, feigning exasperation, but then he kissed Blaine lightly and the game was over. Blaine could never say no to Kurt’s kisses. 

Blaine stepped back and fished the little token out of his pocket. Then he held it out on the palm of his hand to Kurt. Kurt took it and held it up for inspection, his eyebrows drawn together as though in deep concentration. Then he smiled and pulled Blaine back in, this time they kissed long and deep and Blaine was left feeling breathless.

“I’m so proud of you.” Kurt said as he passed the token back to Blaine. Standing there, looking into Kurt’s shining eyes, Blaine knew the time was right. It didn’t matter that they were staying in tonight with homework and Chinese food, this was the moment. He pulled Kurt’s hands until they were both seated on the couch.

Kurt gave him a curious look but Blaine just smiled. “I have one more thing to show you.” He said softly. Then Blaine reached back into his pocket and this time what he held in the palm of his hand was a small silver ring. For just a moment Kurt looked slightly incredulous, but to his credit he didn’t freak out, rather he waited for Blaine to explain himself.

“It’s a promise ring.” Blaine began and Kurt’s smile started to look a lot more natural Good, Blaine thought, he hadn’t misjudged things. Neither of them were ready to walk down the aisle just yet as they were finishing up school and figuring out where they’re careers were headed, but this was right. They had talked enough about a future together that Blaine had known this was the right move; he’d just been waiting for the right time.

“Kurt, you have been my best friend for years. We have loved and laughed and fought and cried together. You have seen me at my very worst and you have supported me as I‘ve tried to be my best. There is no one else I’d rather spend my life with and this ring is a promise that someday I will be ready to ask you for more. For everything.” Blaine took a breath, he was nervous he realized as he waited for Kurt to say something. Kurt didn’t though. His eyes were wide and his lip trembled.

“Will you…will you wear my ring, Kurt?” Blaine was just about to panic when Kurt reached for the ring. 

“Yes.” Kurt’s answer was simple but it was everything Blaine had wanted and more. He let out the breath he’d been holding and they both sort of laughed and fumbled as Blaine slid the silver circle onto Kurt’s finger. Then Blaine pulled Kurt into another kiss and neither of them seemed to care that the food was getting cold. Eventually Kurt pulled back, and there was a look on his face that Blaine couldn’t read.

“Kurt…what..” But Blaine didn’t get to finish speaking because Kurt was pulling away and standing up.

“Just a second,” he said, “I’ll be right back.” Then Kurt was hurrying off to the bedroom and Blaine was left on the couch wondering what had suddenly gotten into his boyfriend.

Kurt came back just a moment later and sat back down, his cheeks slightly flushed. He smiled wide and bounced a little on the cushion. “I was so excited I forgot.” He said, and then he was holding out his hand and in his palm was a silver ring with black edges. Blaine didn’t move. It was as if his mind just stopped. Kurt’s smile stayed in place though.

“It’s a promise ring.” He said in an echo of Blaine’s earlier statement. Then Blaine was holding out his hand and Kurt was sliding the band into place.

“When did you…?” Blaine was still looking at his hand held tightly between Kurt’s own.

“I’ve had it for a while; I was just waiting for the right time.” Kurt shrugged lightly but Blaine surged forward and wrapped him tight in his arms.

“I love you, Kurt Hummel.” Blaine whispered as tears stung his eyes.

“I love you too, Blaine Anderson.” Kurt whispered back.

It was a long time before they got around to dinner, and no homework actually got done that night, but a new chapter was beginning for them both; one of promise and hope. The past was gone for good and Blaine knew he would never, ever need a line between himself and the man he loved.

The End


End file.
